Frustrating to say the least

Thursday May 28th I was at work, it was a normal day and then contractions started. We started to time them and they were about 5-6 minutes apart. I went to the potty and my undies were soaked. I decided it was time to go in and get checked out. 

I was downtown and about 10 minutes from the doctors (my co-worker drove me) and Casey was at home about 30-40 minutes from the doctors... he beat me there! Haha! We went in for a sonogram, Dax looked awesome but my fluid levels dropped from 11 to 8 in 24 hours. We then went to the doctors and found out I had dilated from a 1 to a 2 in 24 hours also (we had just visited the doctor the day before). Since her office is across the street from the hospital, she sent us in to Labor & Delivery to be monitored. 

After an hour of being monitored, they let us go home and told me to rest until I saw the doctor the next week. I didn't make any progress with dilating (even though I was contracting) so we were released. The next week we learned that I was still leaking a little bit and still contracting, but they had become sporadic and not really causing me to dilate more. I did go from a 2 to a 3 1/2 but it wasn't enough. Due to my contractions and horrible back labor, I started bed rest and leave from work. 

This past weekend, I woke up Saturday morning in pain. I was having some crazy contractions every 3-4 minutes. It was 3 am and I didn't want to wake everyone up so I sat there and watched a movie and timed them. By 7 am, I woke Casey up and called my Mother in law to come get Caleb. We were headed back to Labor and Delivery... #1 rule, 4-1-1 (Contractions every 4 minutes lasting 1 minute for an hour). 

We arrived and they checked me... still a 3 1/2 and 70% effaced. My contractions were 3 minutes apart and showing up on the screen as being a medium strength, not mountains but not mole hills either. They waited an hour checked me again, no change, and I was sent home. The doctor on call was VERY rude and after talking to him, I was happy to be going home. He insulted my husband, questioned my doctor's orders and told me that he knows more about labor than I do so I just need to go home and chill out. I was NOT impressed by how rude he was. I was following the rules by going in and getting checked out... better safe than sorry!

Now here I am... on bed rest. Trying to not over do it but also trying to get this baby boy to make an appearance. I have been walking 30 to 45 minutes a day (it is all I can do without leaking too much and getting completely worn out), doing some nipple stimulation, doing the deed with the husband, eating dates, and taking evening primrose oil daily. 

It is frustrating to say the least, my body keeps starting labor and stopping. I don't mind carrying Dax to his due date, but when I start going into labor and getting my hopes up to only be let down, it is starting to take a toll on me. I told Casey that I am going to focus my energy (the little I have here and there) on projects around the house (that I can do sitting down) and less on when he is going to arrive. Yesterday I did just that and let me tell you, it was one of the best days I have had in a long time. I am really hard on myself and when things don't go as planned, it really takes a toll on me. It is something I am working on but it is not going to change over night.

We go visit the doctor tomorrow and we will be talking to her about stripping my membranes and also setting an induction date (I need an end date to look forward to). She put it off last time because we were sure we were going to go into labor this past weekend. She only induces Tuesday's and Thursday's so we are thinking probably the 16th, 18th or 23rd. We will see what she has open and I will keep you posted when we know the date. Hopefully she will just strip my membranes tomorrow and we will go into labor this week on our own... but again, I am not getting my hopes up at all to just be let down again. 

I AM SO READY!!!! And I know a lot of your are too. Thank you for the calls/text/messages/etc. It means a lot to me and I appreciate it all... but like I said earlier, it is taking a toll on me. I feel the need to "perform" and magically make a baby appear. I wish I could do that, I wish I could answer all the messages with "yes we are in labor NOW" or "he is here" but I cant right now. I promise, as soon as he arrives, we will let you know!! Make sure you are following my Instagram account (Jordashflowers), that is where we are going to post it first (and if we have to be induced, I will be doing a post every hour leading up to his arrival... #DaxFlowersIsComing) If you are close friends and/or family, we will let you know when we are admitted!!! 

I love you all and I promise to keep you posted... Say a prayer for me and my nerves/anxiety/frustration. I sure could use it!