Pink Impact

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a woman's conference that is put on by Gateway Church called Pink Impact. I actually won the tickets from 94.9 KLTY's Facebook page!! My best friend, Mandy, was able to attend on Friday with me but due to her kids schedules, she wasn't able to attend on Saturday so I was able to share the weekend with another friend, Amber. It actually turned out perfect and I loved every minute of it.

I have talked about #ProjectJordan and how I have been in kind of a rut lately. I feel like I am standing still and everything around me is going 90 to nothing. I feel like I have worked so hard for so many years to have this "dream" life and I finally have it but I don't know how to make all the puzzle pieces fit. Being able to go to Pink Impact really helped me understand some things about the season I am in right now.

One speaker, Charlotte Gambill, talked about circling. Sometimes, God wants you to circle. He wants you to listen, obey and not speak... and just keep circling until the time is right for you to march ahead. She compared it to being in a plane for hours and hours and when you finally get to your destination, the pilot comes over the speaker and says "we are going to circle before landing". Here we are screaming that we just want to get off the plane and ready to land already... but what the pilot knows is that if we go ahead and land the plane now we will be landing in traffic on the runway and it will end up damaging our plane as well as the other planes on the runway waiting for a gate.... so we continue to circle until it is safe for us to land.

Hearing her put it that way REALLY opened my eyes to the season I am in right now. I feel like I am on this plane ready to get off and enjoy my life and I can see my "dream" life on the ground below but we are making circles instead of landing. I ready to enjoy my life, not that I am not enjoying it now, but I am ready to figure out how the puzzle all comes together. I am ready to get off the plane and feel free again.... maybe this sounds like jumbled up words to you, but it makes perfect sense to me!

To be REALLY honest, Friday night when I got home Casey and I had a HUGE fight. I mean H-U-G-E... HUGE! It left me not wanting to go on Saturday. I was up all night crying. I had a headache and the last thing I wanted to do was go and praise God... I knew that I needed to go and I was excited to see Amber, so I went, headache and all. Let me just say, I am SO thankful I did go.

Saturday was probably my favorite day of the conference. Charlotte Gambill spoke again and when she started to speak she said she was going to talk about the story of Naomi and Ruth. If you aren't familiar with this story it is about a mother in law and a daughter in law, the son and husband passed and Naomi (mother in law) told her daughter in laws they didn't have to come with her, she was going back to where she was from. Ruth insisted she was going with her no matter what. She said "Don't press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die there I will be buried. May the Lord do thus and so to me and more as well if even death parts me form you." Ruth 1:16-17.

The reason I bring this up is because this is the bible verse that was explained and spoke at our wedding, it is the verse that is written on the ring I gave Casey after our miscarriage, it is the verse that is written in our bathroom on the wall... it is OUR verse. Like I said, I am so glad I went on Saturday after fighting with Casey on Friday night. I needed to hear this message and be reminded that Casey and I are a team and we are in this together. That we need to set each other up for success and we need to be unified together. It was an amazing message!

Then Kari Jobe came on stage (one of my favorite worship leaders ever) and talked about her sister's miscarriage... which of course had me sobbing like a baby thinking of my own sweet angle baby! Even leaving in tears, the day ended way better than it had started and I am so thankful I was able to win those tickets and spend this time with 2 of my lovely friends.

Sunday I woke up being okay with circling. Being okay with standing still. Being okay with just being in this moment of life. I woke up feeling like in a way this is a new start to this season of my life. I have been so beat down lately, wanting to give up on my workouts, wanting to give up on my eating, wanting to hide from my kids (no joke, wondering what life would be like if I wasn't a mom right now), not take the time to lift up my husband, not putting the effort in with my friends... and now I feel so much better about it all. I have to keep pushing on and keep circling, circling doesn't last forever and one day I the plane I am on will land and I will be able to fit all the puzzle pieces together... but until then, I will continue to circle!