10k Journey

A lot of people have asked me how my run went and so, pull up a chair, sit down and get comfy because I am about to tell ya!!!

It was a cold morning and very windy. I woke up at 5 am that morning, partly because of the wind being so loud and partly because of my nerves. I was scared to death I was going to sleep in and miss this run!!! I went and picked up Ashley and we arrived at Boopa’s to get our chips and scoop out the place with plenty of time to spare. I could feel my nerves building and building, but I was more excited than anything. We lined up, they gave a speech, sang the national anthem and then blew the horn and we were off.

I am use to doing 5k’s (3.1 miles), so I knew that the 1^st few miles would probably end up being cake for me. I was right, until the 5k runners (Ashley and Berns) made their loop leaving me on the journey alone. That 1^st mile as an official 10k runner was kind of rocky for me, I kept thinking “I can turn around now and just do the 5k, that’s good enough.” But something inside made me push forward and turn onto the next street. Approaching miles 2 and 3, I started thinking back along my journey over the past year, thinking of all the times I just wanted to give up but I pushed forward. Every memory gave me a new sense of freedom from “Fat Jordan”; it gave me the burst of energy I needed to push up the hills or through the wind. Mile 3 and Mile 5 was 110% uphill with the wind in my face the whole time, pushing me backwards. I put my head down and just gave it hell. All I could think about was every single person I was proving wrong, everyone that ever called me a name for being overweight, and everyone who never thought I could change my life. Mile 6 I think was the most difficult mile for me. I knew I was almost done but a song came on “Fucking Perfect” by Pink, and I started crying to the point I couldn’t breathe. I was crying because this was emotional for me, I changed my life. I was doing something I never thought I could do and I was doing all by myself… that’s when it hit me, I wasn’t alone. Standing at Mile marker 6 was one of the most amazing people that I have ever been blessed to meet, Lo. I could see her smile from quarter mile back! She gave me that push that I needed, like she has done so many times before. I was overjoyed to have her there finishing my race with me.

I did it. I have completed my 10k. I have changed my life. I have impacted other people’s lives.

I. DID. IT!

Bikini Pictures - Jan - March 2011

Okay, I have looked over all these pictures and I wanted to do this blog a bit different then I did my last Bikini Blog... I am going to break down each view and tell you what I think changed (we are our own worst critics) and then if you have any feedback on what you think has changed that I cant see... please let me know!!! Februray was a hard month for me with the snow and hurting my back and not to mention it was a couple days shorter then every other month!!!

Front View:

I can see the gap between my thighs.. FINALLY!!!

Side View:

My stomach has gone down some but not alot from Feb to March.

Back View:

Again, I can see the space between my thighs! My top half of my back is smaller...

Bad news in regards to my 10k

I just received a LOVELY text message from my oh so wonderful trainer! She told me that there will be winds of 20-30 MPH tomorrow morning, which is RACE morning... ugh! I sent her a text back telling her not to cuss at me like that and then I went on www.weather.com and yep, she is right. Oh wait, there is more... there will also be AM showers and even though it will be in the 40's, it will feel like the low 30's!!!! Man I am a lucky girl...

Now the question that is running through your heads is "Is she still going to run?"... Fat Jordan would have said umm HECK TO THE NO!!! But you see a year ago this weekend, I looked Fat Jordan in the eyes and said goodbye to her, her bad habits and her negative attitude. So the answer to your question is... YES! I am going to run this race, hell or high waters. I have come to far and this is a huge milestone for me and I am not going to let Mother Nature stop me from achieving one of my goals. I am almost 100 pounds smaller, way more confident, stronger, faster, and in better shape then I have ever been before... so bring on the rain, bring on the cold and bring on the wind! Nothing is going to stop me from running 6.2 miles tomorrow and crossing that finish line!!!

Olive Garden

Have you ever had that one ex boyfriend who stands out above all the rest, who you think about when something happens, who you talked hours to your friends about, and most of all who was the biggest (excuse my language) asshole in the history of Texas…I mean the WORLD?! Well, I have had such the pleasure to have dated just that guy (oh lucky me)! Everyone, please say hello to Robert.

           

            When I first started dating Robert, it was fine. We went out, had fun, hung out with our friends, and basically did stuff that any normal couple would do. Robert had been in a car accident leaving him to have a limp and some scarring on his face, but non the less he was a nice guy who I had fun with… and well he was the only guy showing me attention. After about 6 months or so into the relationship (I remember this like it was yesterday), Robert was going to go hang out with our friends and told me that he rather me not go. To make a long story short, he ended up telling me the reason he didn’t want me going was because he was embarrassed by my weight. Talk about brutal honesty! From that moment on for the next year and half (we dated for 2 years, I don’t know why), I tried anything to change my weight (bulimia too!) to make things better. Every Friday I weighed myself at his house and after about a month of this, Robert thought it would be a good idea to “help” me out. If I lost weight, we went on a date that weekend… if I gained, welp no date for me! People, I am not making this stuff up. And stupid Jordan, well she went along with it because even though it wasn’t right, he was the only person showing me any attention.

           

            It only gets worse from here, please pick your jaw up off the floor and continue on. After weighing one Friday, and losing weight, we decided to go on a double date with Michelle and her boyfriend at the time, Ryan, to Olive Garden. We got to dinner and I had left my purse at home because Robert had driven and offered to pick up the tab. The waitress comes to the table and takes our drink order and then says she will return for our food order. Well in the mean time, Michelle and Ryan are discussing what to eat and on the other side of the table, Robert is TELLING me what I am getting… a dry salad with a grilled chicken breast. Of course, I had lost weight and this was suppose to be my “cheat” meal and like hell was I getting what he told me to get. I rebutted with him and in the middle of it, the sweet waitress comes back. Michelle and Ryan placed their order and then Robert placed his (Tour of Italy – little of everything) and the waitress looked at me and asked for my order. Robert said “just bring her a pacifier”… you could cut the tension in the air with a knife! To cut the story short, Ryan told me to order whatever I liked and he would pay for me since I didn’t have my wallet and he talked to Robert.

            I finally came to my sense a few months later and realized that Robert wasn’t worth any of this. Besides the punishment for being overweight, he had also cheated and lied so many times. It breaks my heart to look back because I am so much stronger today and would NEVER put up with that from a man now. I know that Robert helped mold me into this strong woman, but I would never wish that kind of abuse on anyone. Girls now days try to please the boys way too much; it’s mostly due to the media. You have to be tall, tan, skinny, pretty hair… if you aren’t, than you are an outcast. Stop and take the time to talk to your sister, daughter, niece, friend, whoever the younger women in your life might be. Tell them that they are beautifully and wonderfully made by our Lord and Savior. Tell them that they do not need to listen to the garbage of men who try to put them down to make themselves feel better. If its attention they seek (like I did) give them more attention. I know I wish I would have had someone really sit me down and tell me all this 10-15 years ago…

“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger!”