Letter to myself

My 10 year reunion is quickly approaching so I decided to write a letter to my high school self. Remember I was the "fat cheerleader" (hell I wore a size 12 in high school, that really isn't fat but I guess to a size 0 it is). I struggled with my weight as far back as I could remember and I haven't always been positive about it...

Dear High School Jordan,

Great news… guess what! You are no longer called the fat girl!!! Go ahead and jump for joy, I know I did when I stepped on the scale and then was able to buy smaller jeans from the trendy stores. Bad news is, it will take you a LONG time to realize that you are capable of changing. Yep, you have to continue to struggle with being “fat” for the next couple years. I know it hurts when guys do not notice you, I know it sucks going home crying because all those little bitches were mean to you for being the “fat cheerleader”, and I know it is horrible not being able to buy cute low ride jeans because let’s face it, they don’t look good on you. Your day will come though, I promise!

I know you dream that in the next 10 years, you will have graduated college and be married with a family… well some of that didn’t come true. You will have to join the real world and go to work instead of school… don’t worry though you will take classes when you can afford them and have time, you will never fully give up on that dream (yet at least). Oh and guess what, you will not be married by your 10 year reunion either. It’s probably because you will have such low self-esteem and so you will date all the wrong guys. Don’t worry your pretty little face though, because once you decide to change your life and get healthy and lose the weight, you will meet Mr. Right! Yep, you might not be married by your 10 year reunion but you will be engaged to be married the following March the best guy in the world. He will love you more than you ever feel possible.

Now onto the family part of your dreams… Remember me mentioning you will date all the wrong guys. Well one of those guys will end up being the father to your child (yep a kid out of wed lock, you hooker you! Haha). You will gain weight, you will get HUGE actually. You will be so huge that people will stop and ask you when your twins are due… don’t worry you don’t punch anyone even though you probably will want to. Then, you will give birth to the most perfect little boy. That little boy will make you want to change your life for the better. You will get up and get active and set your mind to losing the weight.

You will end up losing 101 pounds and totally rock it! However, don’t think that life is perfect now… just because you lose the weight doesn’t mean you won’t struggle with weight anymore. Boy oh boy, you will still struggle! I don’t want you to give up though. I don’t want you to think that anything is too hard to do when you set your mind to it. I want you to live your life to the fullest because if you ask me, the next 10 years of your life will define you and set a foundation for your story that will help change so many people’s lives.

See ya in 10 years!

Love,

FitbyJordan

My answer to an email

One of my passions is to help people around me. I will give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. It is no different when it comes to my other passion, healthy living. I am always willing to stop and answer emails, text messages, phone calls, questions at the gym, etc. I feel like that is my calling and I want to use my story to help as many people as I can.

Recently, I was contacted by a girl I have been working with for advice on what to say when other people reach out to her for help. I am honored to not only help her but to teach her so that when this happens (and if she keeps up with her journey, it will keep happening) she is able to feel confident in helping those around her. Her email to me was basically someone who is struggling with more than just feeling fat, tired and unhealthy. This person is having dizziness, nausea feelings, anxiety, and extreme mood swings. They are thinking a change in their diet and life style all together will help out. The girl wants to make sure she steers her friend in the right direction and wants to know what to say or do.

My answer: 1st and foremost, you have to know that you can give all the information in the world to a person but you can NOT make that person change. If you are going to offer to help someone change their life you have to 1st accept that. The second thing I would say would be that, a change to your diet and life style is always the 1st place to start when you are feeling those kind of emotions run through you. Tell them your story, for example my story... I was depressed for a long time before I had my son. You probably would have never known it but I never really knew was it was like to love myself until I gave birth to that perfect little boy. That day I knew that I had to change, not only for myself but for him.

How to change: 1st start by eating the the right foods. Your body will start to change and the change will change your mood.... if that doesn't make sense to you, try it for a week then we will talk. When you start to incorporate working out, your body releases endorphins and your energy level will sky rocket. I sat here thinking for a few minutes if I have ever met anyone who workouts on a daily basis who is a depressed person... cant really think of anyone. Sure we have times we get down but for the big picture, people who workout are usually happier people. For the dizziness and nausea feelings, I say to drink more water... also eating cleaner foods will most likely help with these problems too.

I say to give it a month of change, 1 month... it isn't that long. If after a month of eating clean and working out doesn't change your life then go to the doctors.

Be the change you want to see!

Testing your dedication

When you 1st start something, you are dedicated and motivated 110%. It isn't until about 2-3 weeks in when things start getting tough that your dedication and motivation are really tested. This is why after about February, all of the New Year resolutions die out and the gyms are less crowded. You have to dig down deep and push through the tough times and it will start getting easier again.

I have been back with Lo for almost 2 months now and I have been 110% dedicated to clean eating with no cheating for 3 weeks now. 3 weeks... my  magic number! Saturday I was perfect, fit in a full body workout and stay on track with my eating (didn't even have a piece of baby shower cake)! Sunday I woke bloated, miserable, in a bad mood, tired and everything else. Hello mother nature! I was craving everything I could think of (mostly pizza because that is my go to food for some reason). I wanted to sit on the couch and eat! I pushed through the cravings and headed to church, went grocery shopping, took a nap with Caleb and then went to the splash pad.

I had my 1st volleyball game yesterday (which we lost all 3 games) so I counted that as my workout. Up to this point I was doing so good... was being the key word! I watched my nieces last night after the game and lets just say my sisters house is not a good place for me to be when I am in one of these moods. I wanted to eat everything and well my sister has everything... It wasn't pretty. I had a bite here and a nibble there. I wanted to taste everything. I ended up just having a couple tablespoons of nutella for dinner... washed down with a diet coke from Sonic of course.

This morning I felt gross. I was ashamed of my choices and beat myself up for it... then I stopped. I realized I had a decision to make. I could give up on everything the past couple weeks and go back to my old ways (it was "easier") or I could push through this tough time in my journey and press forward. I chose the 2nd choice. I sat down and prayed for God to take control of the my mind and of all my cravings. I packed my gym bag, grabbed my lunch and headed out the door.

This morning when I got to work, I sat down and wrote out my plan to attend the gym this week. I made a log of all the water I need to drink today. I text my accountability partner and told her my plans. I am not going to let one bad night throw me off track. I have goals and I want to reach them. I will reach them!

June 22nd - The cake

On June 1st, I sat on the couch and told Casey to help hold me accountable this month. I told him that I planned on not cheating on my meal plans at all until June 22nd. Tomorrow we are hosting a co-ed baby shower BBQ at our house which means we will have burgers, chips, salsa, snacks, jalapeno poppers, and CAKE! My plan this month was that on the 22nd, I would have a shakeology drink and then have a small slice of cake and then get back on track.

I have not cheated for almost 3 weeks and I guess what they say is true, the longer you go without cheating, the less you want to cheat. This morning, I won mine and Mandy's weekday winner contest. I fit into a pair of jeans I haven't worn in a long time. I am 11 pounds from hitting my second of three goals I have set for myself. All that stuff makes me re-think cheating and eating that piece of cake tomorrow. Is it really worth it?  To me, I am thinking no... no its not worth it at all.

I know that one piece of cake wont make me fat or gain all my weight back... however, I am the type of person that once I start I can't stop. I know that if I eat that sugar, I will just want more and more and more. I have decided to just keep myself busy tomorrow by hosting, cleaning up, and taking care of everything going on and try not to think of the cake at all. The advantage is that I ordered a small cake so I can just make sure to cut the pieces big and there wont be any left to tempt me... and if there is, I will just send it home with the parents to be.

What are you giving up to get to where you want to be? What is more important to you, feeling good in your own body or having that drink or piece of food?

You can still enjoy yourself and have fun without having to stuff your face every weekend and erasing all your hard work from the week.

You just have to dig down deep and believe in yourself! I believe in you!

P.S. If you do need a cake, contact The Rolling Pin! Megan and Blake Springer are very talented and their cakes taste amazing.

The Rolling Pin
817.907.1345
RPbakery@hotmail.com
www.rpbakery.com