Mind Games

Here lately, I have been working with several different people on their weight loss journey. One lady, Jana, has her daughters wedding in exactly a year and wants to be at her goal weight by then. Very doable! If you think "Wow, I have to lose 50lbs" you may become overwhelemed and the task may seem to big of a task for you to complete. But stop and break it down, it helps. 1 year is 52 weeks... if you want to lose 50lbs in a year, that is a means 1 pound a week. That not only is very doable (when you put forth the effort) and healthy, but it also plays a game with your mind in return helping you reach your goal.

When I started my journey, I had to play games with myself because I sometimes get easily defeated. I would tell myself that my goal was to lose 10 pounds by a certain (doable) date. Then once that 10 pounds was long gone (never to return) I would set another doable date for the next 10 pounds. By the time the year was over I had lost 10 pounds a total of 80 different times, for a grand total of 80 pounds lost and never to return!!! I know it sounds silly, but guess what silly or not... IT WORKED!!!

Example: When I was 4 pounds away from hitting 100lbs lost, my goal was to lose 4lbs by the 4th (my weigh day)... Yes the bar was low for myself, but I knew it was doable!

The rest of my life I will be on this journey and the rest of my life I will set little bars for myself that I know I can reach and that I know I can surpass. Do what works best for you, if something seems to hard to do, dont give up just remember that you dont have to start off running a marathon, instead start off walking a 5k... one day you will get to your goal as long as you have the determination!!!

Kicking that funk!

Steps to kicking that funk:

Step 1:

Friday afternoon - I broke down! I cried twice... I get so frustrated when I cant do something and I was at my breaking point when Melissa said this to me, "I believe that you can get to where you want to be because of the type of person you are, but I also believe that you aren't where you want to be yet. Just know I believe in you." It was like she reached into the funk I have been having and flipped on a light switch... to hear that someone I look up to, believes in me and was honest with me in saying she believes I am not where I want to be yet... it shook me up (in a good way)! I printed out what she said and stuck it in places I look daily to remind myself that the funk is not a good place for me to be.

Step 2:

Friday night - I was getting dressed to go out and do some retail theraphy when I realized my jean shorts (you know the ones that have been loose on me) were suddenly tight!!!! Talk about a rude awakening!!!

Step 3:

 Saturday Morning - Sam (my accountablity partner at the gym) came over and I broke down and admitted to her that I have been struggling and that I am disappointed in myself (that is hard for me to do)! She held my hand, picked me up, dusted me off and made me go to the gym 3 times this weekend.

Step 4:

Monday morning - I went to bed last night with a positive attitude and woke up chipper and excited. I have all my meals planned out and ready to go. I have made up my mind to not let this funk win, I will not give up!!!

Every morning I get an inspirational quote sent to my Blackberry and this morning it couldnt have been a more perfect quote....

"Trying times are not the times to stop trying" - Ray Owen

Help!

Warning: I am about to ramble and there are tears flowing from my eyes as I write this, I just need to vent!!!

All my life all I ever really wanted was to wear a normal size in clothes. I wanted to be skinny, I wanted to buy clothes from the normal section, I wanted to borrow clothes, I just wanted to be NORMAL. Here I am now a size 10 (from a size 24) wearing smalls and medium tops and dresses... and I still look at myself in the mirror and see the same overweight fat girl I use to be. I am in such a funk right now and I cant shake it, I hate feeling defeated and I hate feeling like I cant do something. How can it be that I am in a small dress, (that a athelticly toned fit woman gave me) and I feel fatter then I have ever felt before? How is it that I put on my size 10 capri's and I am disgusted by what I see in the mirror? How is it that people tell me I look great, tell me I am skinny, tell me I dont need to lose more weight but all I can think of is how they are really sitting there making fun of me and being sarcastic? 

I know weight loss is more than just a physical change, its mental too. I know that the physical part is the"easy" part to change and that the mental part takes a lot longer and more work to change. But the problem is, I know how to change the physical part. I have become a pro at changing the phyiscal part... HOW DO I CHANGE THE MENTAL? Is there some sort of doctor that I need to go see? Do I need to ge hypontize? What do I do? 

I am not ready to give up, but I am getting so frustrated with it that giving up is where I am headed. I have jumped off the bandwagon some many times here since I have hit my goal and I am struggling to get back on. I feel like I am at a fork in the road and I know the direction to go but that my thoughts are trying to play games on me and make me go the other way... How do you change your thoughts? How do I get my eyes to see the new me in the mirror? I have tried so hard to be strong and be confidnet, I take pride in myself, I give myself compliments but all that ended up giving me is people calling me stuck up, concided, a one upper... And hearing those things just knocks me down again... I am not trying to be better than anyone else except for the person I still see in the mirror.

Help!

Lunch with Larry North

Last week on Wednesday, my office had the privilege to have lunch with Larry North himself! Through work, we have memberships with Larry North Gym downtown Fort Worth; we have also been blessed with a trainer, Melissa Lukon, who was the person to set this lunch up. Being addicted to losing weight and getting fit, this new opportunity that was opened up to us has been an amazing one to say the least.

Over lunch, we (me and 5 girls I work with) went around the table and told Larry, Melissa and Randall (Melissa’s boyfriend and a trainer at Larry North Gym) about our journey and what we wanted to still achieve. I spoke of my 101lb weight loss and said that I wanted to tone up and tighten. As we went around the table, each girl had a different story… if it was they couldn’t gain weight, they couldn’t stop losing it, or they had issues with feeling guilty for eating the wrong type of foods… each one of us were still wanting the same outcome, to be healthy and to do it the correct way. Even though we are all on different roads of our journey, Larry had the same basic information for us. We needed to eat and we needed to eat the correct things in order to fuel our muscles which will in return help us have more energy and help us lose weight (or gain it).

I have been pumped since this luncheon and I start my new food plan and workout schedule today. No more 2 a days, eating 6 meals a day (not 3 meals and 3 snacks but actual small meals). Yes, I am nervous about doing something that I am not use to. Yes I am nervous that the scale will most likely be going up at 1st, instead of down like I want it. Yes I am nervous that I am not going to be doing as much cardio as I believe I am suppose to be doing… However, I know that if you want new results do something new and different. If you want to gain muscle, you will gain weight at the start because muscle weighs more than fat. And I know that while I needed cardio to lose the weight, I am down enough now to focus on gaining muscle and toning up and need to focus more on lifting than on running.  

I will keep you posted and let you know how my body transforms over the next month… Here goes nothing!!!

The story of the bikini

The plan was to meet Brittanie Bailey at the Southlake town center at 12 and we will have lunch and then shop til we drop, or at least until I found the dream bikini I have been dying to buy. I get in the truck and proceed to Southlake only to realize that traffic SUCKS and I am going to be about 20 minutes late. I am not only frustrated that I am hitting every light but on top of that, I just finished a Route 44 diet coke from Sonic and my bladder is about to explode! The frustration of traffic and the bladder problem have now taken my excitement of bikini shopping and smashed it to pieces and threw it out the window!!! I finally get to where Brittanie was, run in to use the little ladies room and then the excitement starts to return.

We ate lunch, chit chat, pay and then start to walk to Everything But Water. I had researched the exact bikini I wanted to try on, I knew what I was going for when I got in those doors, I knew this was the place I would find my dream bikini... I walked in, was overwhelmed and almost had a melt down. The lady there was not helpful at all (she didn't even blink twice when BB told her about me losing over 100lbs and was buying my 1st bikini ever), they didn't have the bikini I wanted, everything was separated by color... I went into a panic mode. I broke down and tears started flowing in the dressing room. Not enough for anyone (not even BB) to actually witness, but they were there. This was NOTHING like I had dreamed of. This was not the experience I thought I would have. I was done.

I had previously told BB that Victoria Secrets had bikini (thanks Ash!) and so we headed over there. On the walk, BB tried to cheer me up but we both knew the only thing that would work was to find that dang bikini that was in my head. We walked into VS and looked around, not really knowing what was a bikini and what was bra's and undies. A sweet lady asked us if we needed help, we told her and she pointed us in the right direction. I choose a couple of different tops and bottoms and headed to dreaded dressing room. This time was SO different. I put the bottom on and jumped for joy. I was in love with the fit (and the price). I put the top on and that was a different story, so BB went out to grab a couple more tops. A sweet girl named Julie asked BB if she could help us too and so she did. Julie was the answer to my prayers. She came in the room, I told her my story of losing over 100lbs and how this was my 1st ever bikini to buy, and that minute she became so excited and wanted to help me more than because it was her job. She went out and came back 5 different times and was set on finding me a top that I loved. And, she did!!! After deciding on the bikini I wanted, I gave Julie a big hug, checked out and left with the BIGGEST smile on my face!!!

It started off rocky, but in the end it was perfect! Just like my weight loss journey has been, there are going to be bumps in any road you take but if you just stick to whatever you are trying to accomplish, you will soon get on the smooth road and you will reach your goal... And you will literally JUMP FOR JOY!!!!

Hi, I am Jordan and Ive lost over 100lbs... BIKINI PHOTOS!

I've thought about stepping on that scale and 165.8 or lower popping up SO many times... I've thought about how I would react; would I cry, laugh, or do both? I was (to say the least) like a kid on Christmas moring waiting to tear into their gifts to find out if what they asked for was inside. I tapped the scale, waited for the 0.0 to appear and I stepped on... took a deep breath and looked down to see 164.4! I had done it, I needed to lose 4.0 lbs and I lost 5.4lbs making my total 101.4 lbs lost. I cheered like I always do with a good weigh in and I was happy about it, but it wasnt how I thought I would react at all. That is until I got in the truck, put my seat belt on and stopped to take it in... thats when the water works started. I cant tell you how many times I have tried to lose weight and always ended up giving up for one reason or another. This time though, it was different, this time I made up my mind to achieve a goal and I accomplished it. I have never been more proud of myself... well except for when I gave birth to 9.4lb baby boy (who is the reason I have finally accomplished my goals)!

People give excuses all the time to why they can't lose weight, why they don't have time to work out, why they dont have time to cook healthy... well, its all bull crap to me! I am a full time single mother who works full time, takes care of a house (laundry, dishes, cooking, etc.), and spends time with friends and family. Yet, I make it to the gym daily and to cook healthy... You ask me when I have time? I wake up earlier, stay up later, use my lunch break, dont take a lunch and leave early, pay a sitter to help with Caleb... I do what it takes because I have a will to lose it and when there is a will, there is a way!

I am 5'10 and my ultimate goal weight is 145lbs, so I have 19 more pounds to go. I know this last 19lbs will be the hardest to lose, but I am in it to win it! I like to set goals for myself to help me stay on track (and because I love to plan) so, my 26th birthday is in 16 weeks and I am setting my goal at losing those 19lbs before I turn 26! Here goes nothing...

Here is my last set of pink striped bikini photos. Hope you enjoy!!!

Dear Fat Jordan,

I love you so very much and you will always be a part of me but I promise you this... YOU WILL NEVER COME OUT TO PLAY AGAIN!!!!

Love you,

Skinny Jordan

Question of the day

Most of you may know that I am going to start studying to become a certified personal trainer after I lose 100 pounds (which might just happen today, eek!)... Well, I have asked a couple of my friends to let me help them on their journey and I will give them tips, encouragment, and support along the way. I wanted to do this to help me learn how to fufill the needs and wants of different people, as a trainer would have to do.

One lady I have been working with is Jana, she is on a mission to lose 7.8 more lbs by June 1st. Every week we email back and forth and I tell her little tips here and there, foods she can try, different workouts she can do, etc. She emails me back and tells me her weight every Tuesday and we talk about how she thinks she did the past week and go over and questions she might have for me. This week she kind of stumped me... She asked me "I do have a question about exercising! What will make me wanna do it?"

I literally had to sit there for a few minutes and think about this one! Here is my answer I gave her back..."Nothing will make you WANT to do it. I wish I had some answer for that. I have been doing it for a year and I still dread it. Most days I go out of habit because I feel like my day isn’t complete if I don’t go. After about the 1st month, it becomes routine and you will just do it, that is if you are going daily for that 1st month. I guess losing weight helps me "want" to go workout. I see changes and I know what is causing them so I go...? Just got to find something you love doing and just give it your whole heart, I use to HATE running and now I have a passion for it. When I run I escape from it all and just go... its therapy for me!"

I wanna hear how you would answer this question for Jana... 1. To help Jana and 2. To help me when I am faced with that question in the future.

Have a great day and check back tomorrow because I will be blogging about my weigh in... 100 pounds, I am coming for ya!

BIKINI WEEK!!!!

This week holds so many EXCITING things for me. This is the week that I was dreaming of when I sat down January 1st and wrote down my New Years Resolutions. This is the week that gets me through ever pot hole, bump, detour, and any other obstacle that has been in my way along my weight loss journey.This is the week that I have been dreaming of since I started my weight loss journey over a year ago. THIS IS MY WEEK!!!!

My New Years Resolution was to hit 100lbs lost by the time I go shopping for Bikini's (May 7th). I weigh in with Lo on Wednesday and I have exactly 4 pounds to lose to make that dream a reality. I know that I have put my heart and sole into everything I have done this past 2 weeks and whatever the scale says, I will be happy with it. I am just really hoping and praying that the scale goes with me (instead of against me lol) and says 165.8 OR lower. 

After weighing in with Lo, I am so very excited to take my very last monthly bikini photos in that pink and white stripped bikini. They will be posted on Thursday!!!

Saturday morning I am participating in the Buffalo Boogie 5k with a few amazing women in my life (Patricia and my Aunt Dee). This will be Patricia's 1st ever 5k and I am so excited that I get to match her step for step along the way. 

Then the biggest and most greatest of them all... Saturday afternoon I will meet up with Miss Brittanie Bailey and head out to Southlake to go BIKINI SHOPPING! My 1st ever bikini as an adult, wow! I am so very excited about this shopping experience and for me to be excited about shopping, you have to know that is a BIG deal. I am planning on getting my hands on a video camera (if you have one I can borrow, let me know!) and I am going to have BB video tape me picking out bikini's I like and then I will try them on (that wont be video taped, lol) and I will model each of them for the video! I want to post this on my blog next week so that I can share this part of my journey with you all...!!!

Well, I am very excited about my upcoming week! I will keep you posted on my weigh in, my last bikini photos, the 5k and the shopping experience...