Sabotage

I have been dealing with sabotage for a while now and I have felt like such a loner. I have only ever talked to Casey about this and he says it doesn’t make sense to him (he is a guy what does he know) so I have kept quiet… until this morning. A friend told me the other day that the scale finally moved in a good way, after weeks of hard work and presistance. Then last night she reached out to me again telling me how bad she had eaten and how miserable she felt. I gave her some encouraging words and told her that tomorrow is a new day! Well, this morning I wanted to keep cheering her on so I sent her a text. After I sent the text I felt like I should bring up the sabotage issue with her. I have never brought this up to another girl before and didn’t want to feel stupid but for some reason I just knew she would understand… and she did!

What do I mean by sabotage?  Well… do you ever feel like you work so hard to get to a certain goal and you are on the edge of your chair about to reach it and some trigger goes off inside of you saying “Hey, you will never get there so why not just go back to your old ways?” AND YOU LISTEN AND OBEY?! It’s crazy, I know but it is what happens to me more than I like to admit. I have wanted to get down to 164 for a while now and for the past month or so I have been around 168. Every time I see 168.2 on the scale, that trigger goes off and BOOM I am back up in the 170’s and I was even back up in the 180’s once. It’s a scary thing!!! When I see the gain on the scale (or in my clothes) I freak out and get back on track and bust my ass… again… to get back to 168.2.

Why not just shut that trigger down and instead of going back and forth in my weight, why not keep busting my ass to push past 168.2 finally? Why is that trigger so easy to listen to? If I know this is what always happens, how come I am not prepared? Maybe it’s because I have never actually admitted the trigger exist?

That brings me to a GREAT point… I always tell people, asking for help and admitting you have a “problem” is the 1^st step in losing weight. Well if that is true (which I KNOW it is), it must be true for this part too. So… Hello, I am Jordan and I have a problem with ignoring the trigger that goes off when I get close to hitting my goals. There I said it! Now, time to learn to ignore that trigger and FINALLY push past 168.2 once and for all… and when I do push past it, not to go back again!

I hope I am not talking to a bunch of Casey’s here… people who have no clue what I am talking about. If I am well, oh well… This is something real for me and a struggle I face. We all have different struggles and we are all on different journeys… but we are all in this together!!!

I hope you have a HAPPY and HEALTHY Thursday!!!

XOXO,

Fit by Jordan