Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Learning is a part of the journey!

(I was reading a friends blog and stole this idea from her. Hope you don’t mind Lauren Staats!)

Caleb will be 2 in exactly one week from today. I’ve looked back so many times this past month or so and remember all the fun little things he has learned to do and say. Never did I think it was possible for a child under 2 to have road rage, but Caleb does (don’t know WHERE he learned that!) He has been handed back and forth from house to house, from spending time with Mom to spending time with Dad and he never seems to let it bother him. He is such a laid back little man at times and it makes me realize that if he can understand that he doesn’t have the power to change things and that he just has to let things be, that there is still hope for me to learn it too. One of my favorite things about Caleb is that he has the ability to go from being laid back to being the center of attention and the life of the party in 0 to 60 seconds. He has a way of doing something that is bad (like unfolding all of the laundry) but making you smile instead of getting onto him. He truly is one of a kind.

Okay, so Lauren’s blog was her looking back at what she has learned as a woman, mother and wife the past 2 years… Well, I am only going to write about 2 of those things since I am not yet married (hahaha!).

When I was turning 25, Brittanie Bailey told me that 25 was the BEST YEAR of her life. I can honestly say to date, that 25 was the best year of my life. I feel like I have learned so much about who I am as a person, who I want to be, and what I want from life. I set my mind to losing my weight and I accomplished it. I had my struggles, but I never gave up. I love that through my weight loss, Caleb has learned to be a healthy eater. What kid turns down chocolate for strawberries and grapes? I know by me making the choice to lose the weight, I changed not only my future but his as well.  I fell in love with being able to be just me. I learned how to be at home and how to enjoy the quiet. I went out to eat by myself (which I never thought I could do). When I 1st had Caleb, I would get so depressed when his Dad would take him for the weekends. I can proudly say now that I look forward to those “me” weekends. Not that I don’t want to spend time with my son, but that I love being able to still have me time without it being interrupted by a dirty diaper. For the 1st time in my life, I can truly say I am content with being single. Do I want a boyfriend, fiancĂ©, husband… of course I do. But I know now that I do not NEED one. Needing and wanting something is different things, something else I learned. 25 was a great year, bring on 26!

I always knew I wanted to be a Momma one day. But if you knew me when I found out I was pregnant, I was scared to death. I was 23 (had him after I turned 24) and thought my whole life was over. What could I offer this baby? God answered that 9/21/09 at 5:50 P.M. when I heard Caleb cry for the 1st time. The fear that was in my heart was replaced with love. I struggled painfully with the fact that he had to live in NICU for a week, but I now realize what a blessing it was. I was able to go home and rest and prepare even more for him to come home. Looking back now, I am PROUD of the Mom I am today. Caleb will never go one day in his life without knowing that I love him more than I have ever thought about loving myself. That he is my entire world and I would lay my life down on the line for him. I know I am doing a good job when I see Caleb smiling at the door of the daycare excited that I just pulled up. I know that he understand the love I have for him, when he sits in my lap when I am being quiet and he just wants to join in. I know that he thinks the world of me as a Mother, when he runs into my arms after not being with me for a period of time. I do not need to prove how good of a Mom I am to anyone, because Caleb’s actions will never let me forget it. Being a single mom is a hard task that I would never wish on my worst enemy, but it is also one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.

I have grown up so much over the past 2 years and even more so this past year. There were bumps and bruises, tears were shed, fits were thrown, and naps were defiantly missed… and I am not even talking about Caleb! Haha!

Terrible Two’s, lets see what ya got!!! We are ready for ya!!!