Wednesday, August 31, 2016

1 Step Forward... 3 Steps Back!


Life doesn't always go as planned.


I never thought that this competition training would be easy.
I never thought that it would go 100% smoothly.

I had trouble finding a trainer and it took a lot of time and asking around to find one. I finally found one and after meeting him, I left feeling good about the situation and pumped to get started.

This week has been amazing so far. I have been killing my workouts (currently using the ones from being a Jessie's Girl) and eating 100% on track (also using the Jessie Girls meal plan). I submitted my measurements and photos on Sunday and had to wait for him to email me my workout and eating plan on Monday. I received it Monday afternoon and that is where it all went wrong...

1st Step Back
I was told that the workout plan would be adjusted for me, you know since I have knee issues. It was not adjusted for me at all... it was a very generic plan. It was also very similar to the plan I was already following with being a Jessie's Girl. He told me in our meeting that he wasn't a fan of generic workout plans and he would write one just for me...  That kind of left a sour taste in my mouth, but I decided that it was okay that I would just adjust the plan according to what I can and can't do.

2nd Step Back
I opened my meal plan. When we sat down and met I told him my goals and what I wanted to happen. I told him I didn't like plans with low carb and that I didn't want to do any drastic eating plans that would make me gain weight right after I finish the plan. Well, that is exactly what I was sent. The plan was based on Keto (basically its medium protein, high fats and very low carbs... like 14 grams of carbs to be exact, I am currently eating 170 grams). He said that this would throw my body into a state of burning fat. Or in my husband's words... this will throw his wife into one of the bitchiest moods you have ever seen her in and she will be hulking out 24/7!

I asked my Jessie's Girls about this Keto based diet because a lot of them have competed and I wanted to see if this is what I should be doing. I have never competed before so I wasn't 100% sure. They all very strongly said NO!!! Even Jessie herself messaged me saying that she does NOT agree with this and that your body needs carbs and she earned her pro card and ate carbs the whole time. She also said some other choice "words" about how stupid this plan is and how wrong it is for the trainer to tell his clients to use it.

3rd Step Back
When we sat down and met, he said trainings will be $45 a session. I noticed on the gym's website that they were doing 2 free sessions with the 16 week package I bought. I asked him about it and said he wasn't one of the trainers included in that package but would honor it for me. He then said that he will do 2 free trainings but that the next 14 trainings would be $70. So basically I can get 16 trainings for $45 a session for a total of $720 OR I can get 2 free trainings and 14 sessions at $70 for a total of $980. Ummm something doesn't add up to me!!! Is it just me or does that seem odd?

Another Step Foward
I have thought a lot about this.
I have prayed a lot about this.
I have talked to Casey a lot about this. 

I have decided to start looking for another trainer. I contacted one this morning and waiting to hear back. I told him that I want to compete but not at the cost of ruining my body. I want to do it the right way so when I step off stage I am not going to gain it all back. Competing is great but living life in a healthy lifestyle is what I want more than anything. 

For now, I am going to continue on with my Jessie's Girl Plan and keep looking for a trainer...  

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Friday, August 26, 2016

My Next Steps!!!


This is going to be a no picture kind of blog... I have a lot to say!

First, if you don't know already, I am planning on doing a bikini fitness competition before I turn 32 (8/22/17). This blog is to answer some questions, to fill you in, and mostly for me to get all my thoughts together in one place.

This is a VERY exciting time in my life and this next step is a huge one for me, so forgive me if this blog jumps around or you get lost. My brain is going 90 to nothing and I am just so darn excited!!!

Why?

The #1 question I get from people when I tell them about my dream of stepping on stage and competing is, WHY? I was always known as the fat funny friend. I hid behind my weight and made excuses for why I kept packing on the pounds. Then I lost it and felt great. Then I gained it back after surgery and depression. Then I lost it again and felt even better the 2nd time. Then I lost our baby and went through depression and another pregnancy (Dax) and gained it back again. Then I lost it again and this third time is going to be the last time. I guess my answer to why I want to compete is because I want it to be the icing on the cake. I want it to be the big finale to the firework shows that has been my weight loss journey. I want it to be the part in my story that people hear about it and think "Whoa, if she can do that, I can do it." Stepping on stage for me is confirmation that I made it! Yes I know that once I step on stage all my problems will still be waiting for me when I get off the stage. Yes I know that I will still have  to work hard on maintaining my weight loss and I wont be able to just binge eat all the time. It isn't an answer to my "problems" it is a reward for all my hard work and success and it is a stage (literally and figuratively) that I can get up and say LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE... even if it is just me I am saying it to!!!

My Trainer - I have been looking on google and everywhere else I can think of to find a trainer and I have been asking around for about the last 6 months or so. I haven't found much of anything I like. I didn't want an online trainer, who was out of state or could never meet with me in person. I wanted someone I can meet with at least once a week that will help me with my form, help keep me on track and be a rock I can lean on when I am ready to give up. I wanted someone with knowledge of shows and who can help point me in the right direction. I am going into this blindly and I didn't want the blind leading the blind. My trainer, Lo, hooked me up with this girl who has now competed 3 times and is in the Fort Worth area. From there, she gave me her trainers information and I contacted him. I did some snooping on his page and realized this is what he does... he sends people to shows and they come back with trophies!! He sent 6 people to a show this last weekend and they came back with a total of 10 trophies!!! We sat up a meeting to sit down and talk and go from there. The meeting was yesterday and it was amazingly! I was nervous going into it but when I met him, Chandler, I felt as ease and knew that I was right where I needed to be.

We sat there and talked about my journey, he told me about his back ground (which is in nutrition and working with people with eating problems... depression eating being one, umm hello!!!), he talked to me about shows and what my goals and timeline was, then he got me all signed up and squared away for the next 16 weeks!!

The plan - The gym he works for (BodyShop Training Center) is hosting a 16 week challenge that starts next week. The buy in is $299 which includes 16 weeks of online training and he is writing me a nutrition plan. It also includes 2 sessions with the  trainer of your choice or 2 weeks free of group training (I am choosing 1 on 1 training). And they also have 1 on 1 packages with training starting at only $90 for 3 sessions per week. I am going to use the online training for the first 16 weeks and meet with Chandler every Thursday at noon to work on my form and make sure I am on track with where I need to be with my training. I didn't want online training solely, so meeting with him once a week is the best of both worlds. As my competition gets closer and closer, I will meet with him more each week and do less of the online trainings.

Dates?! - So when is my competition? We are shooting for one the weekend of August 18-20, 2017! Yes I know that is a year away and hearing it being a year away kind of put a blah taste in my mouth but I am trusting Chandler. He said he would not put me on stage until I am stage ready and confident, he said one year is going to be the time frame to get me to my goal.... it isn't a quick fix! I did ask him if he would tell me in the spring if I am close to getting on stage because my initial goal was to get on in May... he said we will talk about it in April and see where I am but for me to shoot for August. Trust the process... Trust the trainer.... TRUST!

Why Bikini - I didn't know what category to compete in. It is all a bit overwhelming when you start to research it. Chandler asked me what I wanted to work for and my answer was "to step on stage"... haha! So he suggest bikini. He said that it is an "easier" process and I wouldn't have to bulk as much as I would for the other categories. That it would give me time to really get comfortable with stepping on stage and competing and if I wanted to change after my first competition then we could, but that he likes to start newbies out in the bikini category... so why bikini? Because I am TRUSTING Chandler and his knowledge about competitions.

This summer has been a rollercoaster for me. I hit 178 on Dax's 1st birthday (June 14) and from there I kind of started to maintain. My body maintains really well at 185-190. That is when I can eat crap, kind of so so workout and not really gain. So after we got back from vacation (early July) my body jumped from 178 to about 192! I have been maintain in that 185-190ish weight range for the entire summer... until the past few weeks. I have been pigging out and skipping the gym more and more... oops! This morning I was 197! Scary to see it going up. I hate admitting this to you but this is real life. When you start slacking on your foods and skipping your workouts, you start to gain the weight back. Sucks! So this whole starting to train for competition couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I need this fuel to light my fire again. I am ready to give it 100% and really kick some major ass. Tonight I am going to sit down and write out my grocery list, shop tomorrow and prep Sunday. Monday it is on like donkey kong!!!

I will try and blog each week of the 16 weeks and let you know how I am doing, how the works are, what my food plans are looking like and everything else! Thank you for all the love and support you guys have given me, I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Oh and if you invite me out to eat and I turn you down or bring my own food, please don't get upset with me... I have goals!!! BIG BIG GOALS!!!!


Happy Friday!!!

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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Dax's 1st Day at MDO


(Shirt made by Vinyl By Jordan)

Today, Dax started Mother's Day Out (will be going Tuesdays and Thursdays).... which really is more Father's Day Out for us since I work in the mornings and Casey stays home with the boys. Ha! Dax is at that age where he needs to be around kids his own age. I really think his vocabulary and motor skills will really take off after a few months of being in "school". And, Casey needs a break a couple days a week from chasing a toddler so he can do some updates around the house. We have a long list of things we want to get done and having Dax makes it near impossible.
 

He is teething and has been chewing on EVERYTHING and ANYTHING! This morning it was a whale bath toy... I tried to take it away just for the picture and he was NOT having it... so this is the best we could do. Such a little stinker he is!!!
 

Dropping him off broke my heart. We can hand him to a stranger and he wont cry, but this morning he was NOT having it at school. He threw himself down and bawled. His teacher is gone this week due to a surgery so they have a sub in there... hoping it gets better the more he goes. Fingers crossed!
 
 
Best part of Dax being in MDO, my sister in law works there!!! That means she will check up on him, send me updates and send me random pictures throughout the day!!!


School ends at 2pm but I think we are going to go pick him up at 1 because Casey leaves at 2 and he was pretty emotional about not seeing Dax again until tomorrow morning. It was so cute, they are best buddies!

Next up, Caleb starts school September 1st... First Grade here we come!

On another note, today I am getting my booty back in gear on my foods. They have been all over the map this past week (well this past summer) and I am ready to buckle down and get focused on getting on the stage in the spring. I missed my workout today (slept in) but I am going tomorrow... then Thursday I am meeting with a competition trainer to talk about what my next steps are and what the future looks like for me. I am really excited and nervous all at once.

Happy Tuesday everyone!!
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Monday, August 22, 2016

It is my BIRTHDAY!!!!


It is my BIRTHDAY!!!!


Hands down, this has been the BEST birthday I have EVER had... EVER!!!!

Friday afternoon I went to the Dry Bar, which I loved so much. Anytime someone wants to wash my hair, sign me up!!! Best part, it was raining outside so they gave me a free umbrella to keep my hair looking good!


We got home, I changed... into an outfit that Casey picked out and surprised me with and then we went out to meet up with friends. We were supposed to go to the food truck park but it wouldn't stop raining so plans changed. To be honest, it was a great change! We found a place close to home that had good food and karaoke all in one place... I loved it!!!


We danced the night away and I even got up on stage and sang some karaoke... I will try to post the video later!
 

Case also surprised me with a birthday cake... and it was my fave, carrot cake!!!  
 
 
I have some of the most wonderful girlfriends in all the world!!! Thank you to each of you (and the husbands who were able to come and hang out with Casey) for making it out to celebrate with me. I love you all so much... #PrettyGirls


Sunday I wore the other outfit Casey picked out for me, to church. It is a dress but I am so dadgum tall that I had to put a pair of skinny jeans under it. I am so proud of him for picking out such adorable outfits and surprising me. He has been so good this past week... spoiled me for longer than just the 24 hours of my actual birthday and I have loved every minute of it.  
 

30 was the BEST year of my life so far... I cant wait to see what 31 has in store for me!!!

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Friday, August 19, 2016

Fri-Yay!!!


Oh I am SO excited... it is FINALLY Friday the 19th!!!

Oh and PS I dyed my hair... its a dark black color but when the light hits it, it is purple!!! I wanted to go into being 31 being WILD and BOLD...


The 19th means it is my birthday party day! I am so excited. I cant wait to go hang out with my friends at the food truck park followed up with some karaoke. Pictures to come soon!!!

Isn't this cake so adorable?! Casey has been SO great this year for my birthday. The past 4 birthdays I have kind of gotten the short end of the stick so this year Case is making sure every last detail is perfect for me. He has been getting me gifts every day this week, bought a cake for my party tonight and has some other stuff planned for me! I love that man!!! And yes, he calls me his Little Duck...


The 19th also marks one year since I started back at my weight loss. It has been a lot of hard work, blood, sweat and tears... but I am here now and I am so thankful that a year ago I took the 1st step to get back on track.  

It hasn't been easy at all. I wont lie to you and tell you that it was all sunshine and rainbows BUT I will tell you that it is worth every penny. If you are thinking about starting your journey, or re-starting your journey, DO IT NOW!!!

My biggest tip - work on your eating and get that in check. Then find a workout plan that works best for you. Maybe it is Beachbody, maybe it is running, maybe it is lifting weights... it really doesn't  matter what your workout plan is as long as you get up and get moving. There is no one right way to get into shape... there are so many different possibilities out there!!!
 



Okay, ready for the give away winners?! Make sure to shoot me a message so we can get you your prizes!!!

Giveaway # 1 - The Tank Top
WINNER:
Chantel C Maldonado

Giveaway # 2 - Meal Prep Containers
WINNER:
Heather Clayton

Giveaway #3 - Wait, I haven't announced that yet... have I?! Well here it is...Monday I turn 31 years old so I want to see the most creative video of you doing 31 push-ups! Post your video on Instagram and tag me (Jordashflowers) and use #FitByJordan31
The winner will win both prizes from the 1st and 2nd giveaways!!!
Winner will be announced on Monday aka MY BIRTHDAY!!!

And on another note... we bought a truck yesterday!!! Casey is SO happy again to have a truck back in his life and I am so happy that I have a truck to haul all my Krafty Karen projects in again!!! Isnt she a beauty?!
 

Happy Friday everyone!!!!

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Thursday, August 18, 2016

Change of Plans


Life doesn't always go as I planned it... when hiccups happen, I try to roll with the punches and make up a new plan (because I am a planner and need to have a plan at all times).

My plan this week was to make it to the gym every morning before work... That happened Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but not today. Today I slept in. Well, kind of. Dax is getting sick and was up until 1am, then woke up about 2am, 3am, 4am and 5am. The entire house is exhausted and it I stayed in bed until the last possible moment so I would have some rest for work today.


So, now that my plan for todays workout is out the window... I need to make a new plan.

My new plan - to get my workout in tonight. I am thinking about taking a class, I am just waiting to see what "MaxxMoves" (the name of the class) is and what you do in there. If I don't do the class, I will go and lift and get my cardio in.

Working out in the afternoon is hard for me. That is usually my time to unwind and enjoy just being at home. So, I usually HATE getting dressed for the gym and getting a workout in... but today I am going to bite the bullet and do it anyways.

When life doesn't go the way you want it to, put on your big girl panties and figure out a new way to do life!!! You got this!!!

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Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Waiting...

Have you ever sat around waiting for the approval from someone that you will probably never get it from? 

I have. Actually I find myself still waiting some days. 

I really try to not wait around because deep down inside I know it will never come... But still, some days (like today) I find myself longing to hear those words "I am proud of you!!" without me having to fish for it/beg for it. 

It's painful to wait around and it breaks my heart to the point I want to bawl my eyes out. How do I deal with it? I call up one of my best friends and vent to them, cry the big blubbering tears and let them tell me it will all be better! It helps sometimes and sometimes I just cry myself to sleep and wake up the next day and try to forget about it. 

Some days are better than others, but today is a hard one for some reason... It will get better, I just have to be proud of myself and make that be enough. 



Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Birthday Week Giveaway #1


Lets kick today off with a giveaway!!!

Since I am the proud new owner of Vinyl By Jordan, I have decided to give away a fitness tank!!!


How do you win? Comment on the link to this blog on my Facebook page with a tip on how you stay motivated or what inspires you the most!

I will announce a winner on Friday the 19th!!!

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Monday, August 15, 2016

Life goes on

I set out to blog everyday from August 1st to my birthday, August 22... and well, that didn't happen. But good news, life goes on!

Friday started off really good and then I had a blow out on the drive into work on one of the worst highways to have a blow out on... luckily I was able to exit and Casey came to my rescue. 6 hours and $257 later (actually it ended up being free because we have tire protection I didn't know about) I had a new tire.

Saturday I was SWAMPED with orders from my Etsy and Facebook pages! I prayed for business to take off and that is exactly what happened... I am learning though as I go and 2 of the things I am learning is to give myself a longer deadline and to say no. I am not superwoman and I need to learn that I cant do everything for everyone in the time frame they need it done... It just isn't possible.

Sunday I woke up sick at 2-3am. I was in the bathroom all morning long! The boys went to church without me and then my mother in love took Caleb and Dax swimming for the afternoon and I slept. Luckily the Imodium Casey bought me kicked in and started working so I could actually eat something!!

Today I woke up feeling MUCH better! Actually, I woke up and kicked ass today. I made it to the gym, got my workout in, went to the post office and sent out the packages I did Saturday, came home to take a shower, start laundry, and get ready for work... then made it to Simply Fit Foods to pick up some meals for this week before heading to work! I am ready to tackle this week!!!

With all of that being said...
I missed a few blogs and well, life went on anyways!

Friday's blog was supposed to be about Casey's birthday date day, so here it is...
 

We started the date by dropping the boys off at my sister in love's house

Then we headed over to The Velvet Taco in West 7th... we have both been wanting to try it out and it was worth every bite!
 

Then I took him for a pedicure!!!


He kind of got tipsy and passed out from being so relaxed!!
 

Then we made a pit stop at home to pick up his gun (I was sending him to the gun range with a friend at the end of the night).
 

Then off to Texas Star Bakery for some yummy birthday cupcakes!!
 

After we got sugar wasted, we arrived at Lasertag! I was so excited about this place... major let down! The games were lame, the guns were horrible and I got in trouble for saying "shit" under my breath after being killed once. Oops!
 

While we waited for the game to start, we played in the arcade! I love being a kid with my husband...  even if he does beat me at most games.
 

We had to make a pit stop to Sonic, of course! 
 

Last stop, we picked up the boys and went to The Rock to have some pizza for a family dinner. I then took the boys home for bedtime and Casey went to the gun range and to shoot some pool with his friend, Will.

I think it is safe to say, he had a GREAT birthday!!!
 

 

 

 
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Thursday, August 11, 2016

Happy Birthday, Casey Joe!!!!



Today, my amazing husband turned 37 years old!!!!


When I met my wonderful husband, he was 32 years old. I have LOVED spending these last 5 birthdays with him and I cant wait to spend the rest of his birthdays with him... spoiling him and loving on him!


I wont lie, Case drives me up the freaking wall. He snores, he procrastinates, he forgets, he never pushes his chair in, he takes the longest poops every (haha what guy doesn't)... the list can go on and on.... but to be honest, all the things he does to annoy the heck out of me doesn't even come close to all the things he does that makes me love him. This man is my rock!

 
I still remember the minute I knew he was in love with me... we were on a cruise and we were pulled up on stage for a couples contest. We were asked all of these questions and one of them was "when did your significant other fall in love with you?" He answered and said it was when I had knee surgery and I woke up and he was sitting there waiting for me to wake up. I never knew he knew that was the moment I fell in love with him... but he knew. Later he told me that when he was telling that story, he realized he was in love with me.
 


Casey and I have never been in a relationship without a child... from day one, he knew that if we were going to be together forever, he was going to be a Dad. And let me just tell you... he is an AMAZING Dad! Him and Caleb have this awesome relationship that I cant even put into words. Then seeing him building this relationship with Dax, it has been so sweet and loving to watch. He is such a great Dad!!!
 

Happy Birthday Mr. Flowers!!!

I cant wait to get off work so I can spoil you with an amazing date day!!!
 
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Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Macros - answering some questions


Okay, I have put it off long enough... time to talk about macros again.

Before I get started, HERE is my previous blog about macros. It has a macro cheat sheet, places and people you can get your macros from, and some helpful websites you can read up more about macros.

One more little blurb... I hate explaining things to people. I am not good at it and I rather just do it for you then have to explain. This is why I am not a teacher (this and kids drive me bonkers, shout out to all the teachers out there). So bare with me and if you get lost, I am sorry!

Macros!!

Why do I love macros so much?
To be honest it is because there is so much flexibility and less guilt. When I was a clean eater, if I had anything processed at all, the guilt would consume me. Maybe this doesn't happen to you, but it was horrible for me. With macros, if I want cake, I can just fit it into my numbers and make it work. Now, I don't have cake every single day... for the most part, about 90% of the time, I am eating healthy (fresh meats, whole grains, veggies and fruits) and drinking my water. The flexibility comes in that other 10% of the times.

What are some key things that helped you get the hang of macros?
I wont lie to you and tell you that it is easy and you will get the hang of it quickly... you wont. It will take time and it will take patience. I think they thing that really helped me was having an account on MFP (myfitnesspal.com) and logging my food daily. Every Friday, I would sit down with my note pad and write out a menu and a grocery list for the next week. I would start with breakfast, then figure out my lunch and dinner (they are usually always the same) and then fill out my snacks. I would try and have a carb, protein and fat at each meal. I knew that around 3pm (my 2nd snack of the day) my sweet tooth would start to "ache" so I would try and come up with something to fill that "need" (maybe like a chocolate rice cake with peanut butter or an all natural fruit popsicle).


I mention that lunch and dinner were almost always the same... I know that sounds boring but for me, the more simple my menu was the easier it was to follow and stay on track. Not only did they stay the same for the day, but my menu would stay the same the whole week... with a tweak here and there. Figuring up macros takes time and I figured that if I had macros figured up for one day already, why not just eat those macros for the next 6 days? Make life simple... after all food is just fuel for my body and I can do 6 days of left overs.

Meal prepping is a HUGE help too. Every Saturday or Sunday I would prep everything that needed it (for example the chicken or ground turkey meat). I wouldn't prep stuff like my eggs or my snacks, but I would have them easily accessible. I guess my motto for macros is the easier the better!

How do you read the labels?
Since my macros were 40/40/20 (carbs/protein/fats) when I would buy something and read the label I would make sure that the proteins and carbs would balance each other out and make sure the fats were half of what the carbs and proteins were. You end goal is to use all of your macros for the day (or get within 5/-5 of each number), maybe making it into a game would be easier for you... This is when logging my food on MFP helped me a lot. I would log in different brands of the item I am looking at and see how the numbers would end up. Yes, it  takes time and you might look crazy at the grocery store but once you put in this work, you will know for the future and it does get easier and more a way of life instead of a chore.

This is a bad example of making sure the carbs and proteins balanced... haha! This is one of my proteins I drink if I am slacking on getting my protein in for the day. It is low fat, low carbs, high proteins.

Another thing to look at on the nutrition label, Sodium and Sugars! You really don't want to go over 2,500 mg of sodium a day... it isn't good for your heart or your bloat. Sodium is salt... and you will find it more and more in frozen or pre-packaged foods. If you look at the restaurants nutrition menu, you will see that almost everything is chalked full of sodium... salt makes food taste better and so they use it on everything. Watching your sodium intake, you will start to see a BIG difference and I promise you, if you are bloated at all... this bloat will start to go away. JUST BY WATCHING SODIUM!!!

Sugars are very important too. I try and stay under 50g of sugar a day, without counting the sugars in fruit because that is natural sugars which breaks down differently than process sugars. The less processed foods you eat, the less you will have to worry about sodium and sugars... it is more so when you are trying to fit in a piece of cake!

What is one thing you HAVE to have to do macros?
Having MyFitnessPal is very helpful but you don't HAVE to have it. You can figure your daily intake up using paper and pencil. I don't say pen because you will want to erase... but the one thing you HAVE to have, it is a MUST... a food scale!


You don't have to have anything crazy fancy... just something that can weigh in grams and pounds. I believe this one is from Wal-Mart for under $20.00. I use it all the time and I swear I clean it... haha! I weigh 95% of the stuff I eat. Sure, you are "supposed" to weigh EVERYTHING you eat but dude, I don't have time for that. Like for an example, I am not weighing my rice cakes. I just grab one and say I had one. Instead of weighing it and saying it is 0.976th of a rice cake... you need to be within 5/-5 of your macros so it is all good. You don't have to be anal about it. Now, the peanut butter I put on my rice cake... you better believe I weigh that. It is so easy to stick a spoon in and say "yep this is 2 tbsp." when it is really 6 tbsp. #truestory.

To weigh something in a jar, sit the jar on the scale, clear the scale (zero it out) and then use a spoon to dig out what is inside (like the peanut butter). If the serving is 32 grams, then when you get to -32 grams, you have your serving... make sense? Trust me, this is the easiest way to get a serving out of a container.

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Can I be honest?! I have been horrible with macros this summer. I have been ho-humming it. So many things have happened (excuses) and I have been enjoying the summer with my family and friends and trying to not feel guilty about it. I am always so black and white and finding a gray balance has always been hard for me. I am working on that now.

I have told all my friends and family though that after my birthday (less than 2 weeks, yay) I am going back HARDCORE and to not mess with me or give me a hard time when I turn them down. This fall I am going to really step it up a notch with my macros, tracking my foods and hitting the gym harder.

I hope this blog helps someone... like I said, I am not the best at explaining things but I am here to help if anyone has any more questions.

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