Tuesday, July 19, 2011

1st workout in over a month

Lets take a trip down memory lane, shall we... May 4, 2011 I stepped on the scale and hit my 101.5 pound loss. I told myself when I hit my huge goal I would have Frito Pie and take a break for a week. Beat your bottom, I had my yummy Frito Pie and I kicked back and relaxed for a week. I wish I could say it ended there but nope, it was like a horrible car crash that you just couldnt prevent. 1 week off turned into being over a month off. Guilt came over me about needing to spend more time with Caleb and about letting him eat the "normal" foods kids are suppose to eat. Of course since he got to eat them, I got to too!

Half way through June I realized the weight I tried so hard to get off was slowly but surley creeping back on. Then one day it gave up coming back on slowly and went balls to the walls and just flew back on like it had a dead line to meet. My size 10's I swore I would always fit in, didnt fit me anymore. My mediums that started getting loose on me, were starting to get tight again! This was NO good. It happened so quickly and over night. I worked so hard to get to where I was, how could it be slipping out of my hands!!!! I decided the 1st week of July (Caleb would be gone so guilt will too) I was going to recommit. I gave it a week and lost 6.2 pounds then feel back on my face when the weekend came. I tried again and the same thing kept happening. It was so easy to fall off the wagon and now I am re-learning just how hard it is to get back on!!! I decided I needed to go back to train with Lo.

Today was my 1st training back and I wont lie, I was nervous and scared. What if I fail, what if I cant do what I use to do, what if... what if... WHAT IF....!!! I was a wreck. I walked in there with my head held low, when just 3 months ago I would walk in there full of pride. I went upstairs and started my workout. The workout was suppose to be an hour and instead it was about 40 minutes. I was so out of breathe doing some of the easiest things. After working out, I got really dizzy and queasy... Yes I threw up! Lo has now made me bleed, sweat, cry and THROW UP! I was so pale! I had to sit down by the fan with wet rag and catch my breath. We weighed and measured and I have gained a total of 15 pounds and 4 inches on my waist... How embrassing, right? Wrong. How EYE OPENING!!!

I am back. I am not going to let anything throw me off the wagon again. I like the wagon. I will get back down to my goal weight and I will get back into my 10's! I am rededicating myself.... this is my promise to myself!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment