Monday, August 18, 2014

I hate my knee

Seriously, I hate my knee! It is one of the parts of my body I would change if I had a magic genie!!

I was born with a bad knee, cheered on a bad knee, had surgery on my bad knee, gained weight on a bad knee, ran on a bad knee, had another surgery on my bad knee, gained weight again on my bad knee, lifted weights on my bad knee, and have gained some weight again on my bad knee...

Lets just say, my knee has been through a lot.

The last surgery I had was a reconstructive surgery. The doctor told me the next surgery for me is a replacement!!! I have always thought a replacement was for someone old enough to retire... but here I am hearing the word "replacement" and I am not even 30 years old yet!

Right now in my life I am not ready for a replacement. If I had a replacement right now, I would have to push back getting pregnant by at least 6 months and that is not something I am wanting to do right now. We are ready for a baby now so we are going to put off the replacement until after we deliver... hopefully sooner than later!

It has been 2 + years since my last surgery and my knee has been doing great. It aches from time to time but it isn't anything to worry about. Well, that all changed last Tuesday. I was walking to check my mail (on a hill of a drive way, wearing a long maxi skirt and some flip flops while talking on the phone) and I fell. My knee popped and I ended up scraping it pretty bad. Thank goodness for my neighbors being outside because they were able to help carry me in the house!

It was pretty swollen and the scrape was not pretty. It has taken almost a week for me to start walking normal again... now just waiting for the scrape to heal so I can have more flexibility in my knee. Every time I bend my knee the scrape seems to pop open and it hurts. That's not even the gross part... the gross part is (stop reading if you get grossed out easily) last night I took an Epsom salt bath and let my knee soak. After the bath, I was sitting on the couch and my scrape started to ooze! Seriously it was so gross but after the oozing, it felt so much better!!! I am ready for another Epsom salt bath.

My knee injury hasn't helped my depression I have been trying to fight off since the miscarriage. I am an emotional eater and I am really trying to not be anymore. Easier said than done! I have been trying to focus on 21 Day Fix but it has been hard this past week with my knee being jacked up.

I am going to the gym today on my lunch and just going to ride the bike for 30-45 minutes. Nothing intense but I figure something is better than nothing. I know I am no where near where I want to be in my weight loss journey right now BUT I am still here kicking and fighting... that counts for something! This summer has been one of the hardest times in my life and for me to be fighting to go forward instead of falling into depression, that is a HUGE thing!!!

Here is to NOT giving up, not matter what!!!

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