I am currently sitting on a plane flying to Pittsburgh for business and I can't stop thinking about a conversation Casey and I had on the way to the airport. This morning started very early for me and a lot of decisions were put on the table for discussion in a matter of hours... Know I have 4 days of Jordan time before going home to my husband to give him my decision!
Casey is an amazing husband, so supportive and almost always goes along with all my plans. There are times he stands his ground and my plans change, but more times then not he goes along with what I decide. I think this happens for 2 reasons.
1. Casey is a fly by the seat kind of person. He hardly ever makes any plans and he is okay with that. He is so easy going and will wake up and just do. Well, I am the exact opposite. They say opposites attract and for us it is true. I am very much a type A personality. I like to plan. Ok that's a lie... I LOVE to plan! I plan everything and anything and I do it weeks/months/years in advance!
2. Casey loves me and wants to give me the world... He does that in going along with my plan. He has told me before that when he does something I like to do that he doesn't, he finds joy in it just by seeing me smile. Hello true love!!
Back to this morning and the decisions... Of course there was what to eat for breakfast, which vehicle to drive, which highway to take, etc. But on the way to drop me off at the airport a very important topic came up and we needed to make a decision because it is one that would affect our family.
After our miscarriage Casey and I both decided we wanted a baby ASAP! The doctor told me after my 1st cycle we could get pregnant again, this was GREAT news to both of us! She told us that my cycle wouldn't come until the end of August or early September. That would mean that we would probably get pregnant in Disney World and I would be able to enjoy myself and ride all the rides with my birthday boy Caleb.
It was a perfect plan! We wanted a baby ASAP and the timing with Disney was awesome.
Well, that is until my cycle decided to start this past weekend. With it starting we were left with a decision to make. We could try this month and if we were successful we would be about 8 weeks pregnant at Disney. OR we could wait another cycle and get pregnant late September like the doctor first initially thought would happen.
Why did my cycle start a month earlier then expected? My only answer is God has other plans then my doctor did! And now we are faced with a decision to try or not to try this month...
I know most of you would just say, well wait then, what's the big deal?
The big deal is that for the past month, Casey and I have been praying for a baby. Like praying so hard... Remember when you were a kid and you prayed, wished and begged for that new toy? That's the kind of praying we have been doing for a baby. Now that we have lost one, we both want one more than ever! And now we have been given this wonderful miracle of me starting my cycle a month earlier then the doctor said... Was this a gift from God? Or is this a test God is giving us?
Casey left the decision to me... To try this month or wait until September and honestly this is a very hard decision for me. I want a baby so badly, but I also want to enjoy Disney... But I was already planning on being pregnant in Disney before I had the miscarriage...
Rock, meet hard place!
My final decision... I don't know! I want to leave it in God's hands. Only He knows when we will receive a blessing and only he knows what the future holds. Me being a planner, this is way easier said than done!
So, I am curious... What would you do?
Amazing things happen when you give a situation up to God. Trust in his plan. You could "practice" all day long, but it will not happen until he is ready for it to. (Though "practicing" is super fun!) Disney will still be a great experience either way. Even if you can't ride the rides, you will never forget the way Caleb's face lights up. Relax, enjoy life and leave the rest to him!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone who has pcos, you are not guaranteed to ovulate every cycle due to crazy hormones. Just because you are having this cycle doesn't mean your body is ready to start producing eggs, so what's the harm in trying? My suggestion is to go for it. You would still be leaving it in God's hands.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking on behalf of someone with PCOS and worked through 5 years if treatments before success, I would say this conversation seems a bit presumptuous. I get you struggled and suffered a miscarriage, but nothing guarantees that even when you decide when to try and how that lines up with travel plans nothing says you will have success in ine cycle. I know you didn't mean it this way, but it sounds silly... We want one so bad, but don't want that to get in the way of travel plans. If you want one that bad make a decision and move. Don't worry about the rest. Relax
ReplyDeleteRegardless of your plan you are right that God has his own! Let nature take its course. No need to label it is "try" because of you "try" and are unsuccessful then you will label that a failure. God does not have failure in his plan! If God's plan has you pregnant before Disney there are still a million ways to enjoy yourself (and your little boy won't know the difference)! Leave this to God, as with all things he knows what he is doing!!
ReplyDeleteI would say go for it!! My husband is a scuba instructor so we started out trying to plan for his non crazy time. I didnt wanna be in labor while he was on the bottom of the lake a hour away, lol. After 9 months of trying with a chemical pregnancy at 6 weeks I've become less worried about my plan/timeframe because its all in God's timing and plan anyway.
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