Thursday, April 4, 2013

Vows to my son

The other day while playing with my 3 year old, he said "Man, I need to workout I am FAT!" As he was saying this, he had lifted up his shirt, stuck out his belly and was pinching his skin. My jaw hit the ground and instantly started to tell him he is not fat and that he doesn't need to even worry about that right now. I asked him where he even heard that from and his reply knocked the breath out of me... "You always say you are fat Momma"... He heard that from me! How heart breaking is it to know that because of something I have said about myself, now has worn off onto my innocent 3 year old.

I really sat down that night and began to think about all he sees and hears while he is with me, he hears me talk about about myself (I am fat, I am ugly, I wish I was skinnier, I wish these clothes fit, and etc) and he starts to believe those things about himself. I have never once called Caleb fat so why would he believe that about himself unless of course he just assumed that if I think I am fat, then he needs to think he is fat too. I started to look at blogs and website talking about other Mom's who have had this problem. I realized I wasn't alone... Our children strive to be like us and if we are constantly putting ourselves down, that is a habit that they start to pick up on. I remember from as far back I can, my Mom and Dad talking about how big or small they were. How they had nothing to wear because of their size. I remember how much they were obsessed with their weight... I am not saying my obsession is all because of them, but I believe that is where it started. Now here I am doing the same thing to Caleb, I am starting the obsession all over again.

Well, its time to stop that cycle right now! Instead, I am going to replace that obsession with the right tools on how to stay healthy (eating clean and getting the right amount of activity in). I am going to replace the obsession with putting myself down with the obsession of giving myself compliments, and make sure I give them to Caleb too. I want him to know that there is more to his life then his weight. I want him to know that his smile is contagious. I want him to know that his beautiful blue eyes are captivating. I want him to know that he gives one of the best hugs I have ever have. I want him to know that he is one of the most loving little boys I have ever met. I do not want him to dwell on what the media says you are suppose to look like and how you are suppose to act, instead I want him to dwell so deep in the heart of God that none of that matters.

I vow that for here on out, I will no longer put myself down in front of Caleb (if I feel like I just HAVE to put myself down, I will walk away and do it in private and hopefully by the time I walk away God will have gotten a hold of me and the feeling will disappear).

I vow that from here on out, I will not only pay myself 4 compliments (2 physical and 2 about personality) but I will also pay Caleb 4 compliments each and every morning before we start our day. (Mine today for myself were I love my little nose, I have the same nose as my Gaga. And, I love my neck... its not to long or to short./ I love my laugh and I love that I am willing to help anyone I can)

I vow that I will continue to teach Caleb how to cook clean and eat clean.

I vow that I will continue to workout in front of Caleb because I want him to know how important activity in your life is.

What do you vow to do for your children?! If you don't have children yet, what about your nieces or nephews or even your children you will have one day...

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