Friday, August 16, 2013

Out of your control

This blog post is for all the moms out there (if you are not a mom and you relate to this, which is great too)

I have 1 kid so 1st and foremost, I give props to all your moms who have more than that!
I am responsible for a little human being who looks to me for EVERYTHING!!!!
I have been a single mom from the minute my son was born… I give even more props to the moms who have more than 1 kid and have been single moms.
Yes, being a single mom will end when Casey and I get married… however at the same time it won’t. I will always have to share custody with someone who I am not in love with, do not live with,  and do not have say in how they react or what they do.
Casey is not Caleb’s biological father, but he is going to be his step dad and he does a damn good job at that. Casey has only been doing this role for a couple of years less than I have, so he is still learning and there are times I really have to remind myself of that.

All that being said, sometimes my plate gets REALLY full of stuff I have no control over. I am usually REALLY good at dealing with this but then there are times that I just have a meltdown and can’t take it anymore.

I am not going to go into my meltdown because this post isn’t really about what caused it or what really happened.
This post is about how I reacted to it and what I am learning from my reaction.

Today during my meltdown (while crying to a friend) I realized everything I was telling her that caused my meltdown where things out of my control. They were put on my plate and I had no choice but to deal with them. I didn’t bring them on myself. I didn’t take on the extra stress. It wasn’t something I could just delegate to someone else. It was all stuff given to me for me to deal with.

I wiped my tears and went to the gym.
While on the elliptical, I realized something else.
(Back up, I didn’t want to go to the gym.
I wanted to throw a pity party for 1 and eat some cake! Damnit, I love me some cake!)
So, I went to the gym and got on the elliptical.
I had a “Oh My Gosh this is what God is trying to teach me” moment.
I realized that while I have no control over everything on put on my plate, I did have control over how I reacted to it.
I have control over either throwing myself the pity party or going to the gym.
I have control over getting to the gym and busting my butt.
I have control over how my pants will fit tomorrow.
I have control over the number on the scale.
I have control over how many calories I will burn while at the gym.
I have the control!

So many times in the past when my plate has been to full of un-controllable CRAP… I have given in and given up!
Then I am not just upset about the stuff on my plate, I am also upset about the choices I made with food and working out (or the lack thereof).
I think that is why I got so big. The cycle was never ending.

I had my meltdown.
I went to the gym.
I worked hard.
I feel SO much better!!!
Do you think I would feel this great as I do now, if I had a pity party with cake?
I don’t think so… actually I know I wouldn’t.

So… in conclusion…

When life throws you a curve ball that you can’t control… doing something for yourself that you do have control over.
Go to the gym and give it hell.
Trust me; you will feel 10 times better!!

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