Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I am blessed

I have realized that blogging the past couple days has really helped me deal with losing our baby... so, I am going to continue to blog. Who knows if anyone is reading this or not, but really that isn't the point. The point is that I have a healthy outlet to grieve and for that I am thankful!

Yesterday at work I received a beautiful thing of flowers from my co-workers and I lost it... I had to shut my office door and I went through a box of Kleenex bawling my eyes out. Luckily it was close to quitting time so I was able to go home instead of having to pull myself together to finish the day. I sat in my office praying for God to help me. I prayed for God to comfort me. I prayed for God to give me peace. I just prayed.

Funny things happen when you pray... God answers them!

As I walked out the door of my building into my parking garage, a friend tapped me on the shoulder and told me that God has it under control and that she has been praying for us and will continue to do so.

I finally reached my car, threw in my bags and sat down to buckle up and my phone rang. It was my friend Julie just checking on me out of the blue. We sat there and talked, mostly she let me cry and scream and ask why. She reassured me that God knew what he was doing and that through him all things are possible.

I hung up with Julie and Eboni started calling. I work with Eboni and she knew I had broke down at work and she was calling to make sure I was okay and to share a story with me to make me laugh. She reminded me that I am a strong woman and God wouldn't give me something He didn't think I could handle.

While I was on the phone with Eboni, my text messages started going off... I opened them and found text from Ali checking in on me to make sure I made it through the day. And to remind me that even though I had a break down towards the end of work, I had made it through most of the day. She helped remind me that God has never asked us to carry all the weight, we have to rely on him instead.

After texting back with Ali, my phone started ringing and it was Samantha. Seriously, by this time I thought that they all planned this... National Lets Check In On Jordan Day! Sam and I sat there and talked and she helped answer some of my medical questions (she is a nurse). She reminded me that God blesses those who are faithful to him and she knows that one day he will bless us with another baby.

While I was chit chatting with Sam, I missed a call from my mother in law. I couldn't help but laugh at this point... I hung up from Sam and sat there talking to God for a minute before calling Joy back. I prayed to him earlier to help me, comfort me and give me peace and he did all that through the love of my friends and family. How blessed am I?

The night ended with a book and a call from my Momma (she sent me a book through the mail) and a few text messages from one of my friends/co-workers who helped calm me down earlier at work.

I have so many wonderful people in my life and I am so blessed. God has truly opened my eyes the past couple of days to show me all of this. I also realized that I need to learn to let people help me and learn to ask for help. I have always struggled with that!!!

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