Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Bathtub!

Do you watch Sex and The City?
I do (did). So Saturday when I was home alone and feared the worst (story to come soon), I couldn't help but replay one of the SATC scenes over and over in my head.
Don't worry, it will make more sense in a bit.
If you read my blog yesterday you will know that Saturday I was home alone all day long! I took advantage of this time and took a nice long warm bubble bath. I laid in that bath (soaking in my own filth) for a good 45 minutes!!! It was so relaxing and I loved every single minute of it...
That is until I realized I didn't know how the heck I was going to get OUT OF THE BATH!!!!!
You see, I am huge pregnant. I have a hurt swollen ankle I am just now starting to put weight on. AND my right knee is (always) jacked up and is stiff from my fall.
So there I was... stuck in the bathtub that was slowly draining... and I was butt ass naked (duh how do you take a bath?)
I decided that I would use the slant of the back of the tub to slither out. The slant works a lot like a slide at a playground... what goes up, must come down!!! I was about half way into the slithering process when I started to slide right back down.
Well, that isn't going to work!!!!
I sat there growing more and more nervous because I was STUCK IN THE TUB!!!! What was I going to do?
I decided to wait until the water drained out and use the towels I had next to the tub as a mat to give me some traction. I sat there (impatiently) waiting for the worlds slowest drain to finish. Then put the towels in.
I thought it would be a good idea to throw my legs over the side of the tub, use my hands to prop me up and do kind of a back bend to get out. Lets face it, back bends are HARD when you aren't 8 months pregnant... it didn't work!!!
I laid in the tub, tears flowing and the scene of Miranda hurting her neck in her shower and Carrie sending Aiden over to help out only to find a naked Miranda in her bathroom playing in my head. I started to think, "who can I call?" I needed someone who I didn't care saw me naked but also someone who could actually help lift me and help me stand up. My choices were limited!!! I needed my husband!!!!
Finally, I dried my tears and decided to try one more time and it worked. 3rd time is a charm!!! How did I do it, honestly I do NOT remember!!! All I remember is I was FREE!!!! It took a good 20 minutes, but I freaking did it.
Lesson I learned - I am not taking any more baths while being pregnant unless my loving strong husband is home to help me out!!!!

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