Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I have the BEST of friends

Long story short, my knee gave out today while walking 3.1 on the treadmill. I fell and hurt my other leg and now I feel defeated and just want to curl up in a ball and cry while eating a whole extra large pizza. Why do we get comfort in food?! Anyways, here is an email conversation between me and one of my very best friends, Jamie.

I feel so defeated. I keep breaking out in tears. I use to be able to do almost everything at the gym and now I cant even walk on a treadmill. Weight loss is something I am going to have to battle the rest of my life and it just sucks! I hate that I am so weak right now. I hate that if I eat one bad meal I am 10 pounds heavier and I cant fit into my shorts and I cant even go to the gym to run it off. I am so defeated.

Alright Missy!! You are NOT defeated!! You are stronger then you think!! Seriously!!
I had 2 bad days this week with my ankle. For some reason it was giving me issues and it really hurt to do what I had to do. But, I pushed thru. And each workout I did I was the LAST one to finish by a long ways. So, it left me doing the workout by myself while everyone sat on the ground finished and they all just watched my struggle. Who likes to show weakness? Who likes to be the weak one?? NOT ME!! And I'm willing to bet that no one LIKES to be the weak one. But guess what? I finished. All those people that were watching me struggle have NO IDEA what it feels like to be me. They have no idea how bad my ankle and toes were hurting. They have no idea how bad I wanted to quit and run away. But, I finished. I sat on the ground and one of my friends said "jamie, you are such an inspiration to me because you push thru hard things" At that moment I ran outside and bawled my eyes out. It's nice of someone to say that to me, but at the same time, at that moment I felt like she would say that because I was so weak. To me, she just got done watching ME struggle. Know what I mean? I don't want people seeing me struggle.
Anyways... point of the story is... after I collected myself and really thought about it... I figured out that I am strong! And I'm a lot stronger then a lot of people (mentally). People quit when they have no limitations and no reasoning what-so-ever. It takes a lot of mental strength and determination to stick with a plan PERIOD! So put in pain, injury, whatever it may be into the equation... and if you can stick with it and not let it get to you- you really are STRONG!! And it's something to be proud of! So.. don't let your knee get to you. Just think, when that's all healed up and you can look back at all the struggles it took to get you back to where you were, you will be SO much stronger in the head and that will help you in all areas of your life. Really!! Don't give up. Show yourself that you are stronger then your knee... and that you aren't going to let your knee get in your way of having the life that you want. OK?? :)
Now.. go eat something healthy and breath deep, cry it out, laugh it off and KNOW THAT YOU ARE STRONG because you won't let your knee get in your way!! When so many other people would throw in the hat at the first sign of resistance!

She is 110% right! Thank God I have been blessed with some very amazing best friends because honestly without their love and support, I would be close to 300 pounds and never even have considered walking off a treadmill...! Thank you Jamie. Thank you Lo (had a meltdown on the phone with her earlier at the gym right after my fall). Thank you to everyone reading this... you guys/girls push me to keep going on and help pick me up when I fall (which I have been doing a lot of that lately, mentally and physically). It will get better... I mean its life, for every down we hit an up is right around the corner!!! So, here is to my next UP!

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