Vivid Dream!

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I have had since getting pregnant. It felt so real, I just had to share it with you all.

The dream started off with me receiving a call from the doctors office telling me the results of my blood work were in and that I could come pick them up. I drove to the office and picked up what I thought was going to be a envelope but much to my surprise it was 2 gift bags, one pink and one blue. The doctor explained to me that each bag contains 2 shirts rolled up in ribbon. I would have to open the shirts up one at a time to reveal if we were having a girl or boy. I got back in my car and started to drive to Casey. On the way I decided to go ahead and take a peak. The 1st shirt I opened was from the pink bag and it said "Daddy's Little Girl, CONGRATS". I about lost it... I was crying and so happy. I couldn't hold back the smile I had on my face, we were having a little girl. I finally pulled myself back together and went downtown to "open" the package with Casey. Before I found him, I decided to lay down in the middle of Main Street and watch the lights change from green to yellow to red. It was really odd because as I laid there, cars just went around me... like it was okay that I was in the middle of the street just laying taking everything in. I finally stood up and made my way to Casey. I handed him the bags and acted like I didn't know the gender. He opened a blue shirt, no, he opened a pink shirt, no, he opened the other blue shirt, no... and then the last pink shirt and he saw the "Daddy's Little Girl, CONGRATS" and smiled bigger than I have ever seen him smile before. We both looked up and there was a HUGE audience cheering us on... I did not recognize a single one of them!

Then I woke up!

Crazy, right?! Old Wives Tales say that whatever you dream you are having, you usually have the opposite, so this would mean we are having a boy!

After I told this dream to Casey, I could hear him smiling (we were on the phone) and I asked him what he was thinking and he said "Well, now I really want a daughter." He has been dead set on having a son since I met him almost 3 years ago... and now he wants a daughter!!!

I guess I am the only one of team blue now... Casey and Caleb are both dead set on having a girl.

We should have our results back from the doctor any day now and then will announce the gender on December 21st!

EEK!!!

I finally ate meat again!!!

For the past 8 weeks or so, the smell of meat makes me want to barf. The sight of it makes me dry heave. The taste of it... well I have never been able to taste it. I have been living off carbs, that is when I am able to eat at all.

I went to the doctors yesterday and they told me I lost 4 pounds since my last visit. Here I was scared they were going to lecture me about my weight and I actually lost weight. Probably because I haven't been able to eat anything without throwing up.

Then today I had a craving for Chick-Fil-A... ODD!!!

I bought a chicken sandwich and waffle fries... it took me 2 hours to eat it, but I did!!! I ate the entire meal. I am so proud of myself!!!

Another good note, we will know the gender of the baby very soon!!! We will reveal if we will have a Cora Mae or a Dax Marshall on December 21st... so stay tuned!

The doctor says girl, Casey and I say boy, and Caleb is begging for a sister. We will see in a couple days... eek! I am so ready to buy new baby clothes either way!!!

Hope you are all doing great and thank you for baring with me the past couple weeks while I have been quite. Next week I start working out again and I am ready to start posting more. Bring on the 2nd trimester!!!

Home Strecth of the 1st Trimester

On black Friday I will be 10 weeks, finally hitting the double digits in my pregnancy. That is something I did not do my last pregnancy, so this is huge for us!!

Next Wednesday we have another sonogram and we will have our Harmony test. Now, I would like to talk more about this Harmony test. Someone "attacked" me for having this test when it is not needed and because I just want to know the gender... 1st off, this test is needed. I am high risk and having lost my baby this past summer, this test will be able to answer a lot of questions the doctor has, my husband has and I have. 2nd off, yes we will get to find out the gender with this test... but that is not the main reason for the test!!! Finding out the gender is a silver lining with the Harmony test. I have been on pins and needles the past couple weeks worried about my baby and about miscarriage and I think finding the silver lining in everything is really helping my fear of the unknown.

I am still not able to workout until after my 1st trimester is over and when I do reach the 2nd trimester, I will only be able to do light cardio. Hopefully by then I will have more energy to hit the gym, because right now all I want to hit is the bed!!

I have had a rough time with morning sickness and have even been in and out of the hospital. They finally gave me something that helps... ZOFRAN! Seriously, this pill has been a lifesaver but it has also been a pain in the butt...

Zofran says it may cause constipation. The word "may" is an understatement... it DOES cause constipation. TMI but I had to use an enema earlier this week. Oh the joys of being pregnant, and I love every single one of them!

Food wise, I still do not have much of an appetitie at all. It is very strange. With Caleb, I had severe morning sickness but I could eat anything and everything. With this one, food, water and even diet coke just sounds plan disgusting to me. I have to force myself to eat a cheese stick every couple hours. I also live off of mashed potatoes and vanilla wafers, seriously carbing it up! I am ready to be able to eat again... eating for 2, HA.. I am barley eating for 1!!

BUT... the 1st trimester is ALMOST over and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am ready for the 2nd trimester and to start feeling better. I will keep you posted after my next sonogram!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!!!

Finding out the Gender

I have spoken to a lot of women who do not want to find out the gender of their baby. To me, this is crazy! I understand why they do it, but I am a planner and need to... well, plan!!!

I have things to monogram, a nursery to finish, clothes to buy, and dreams to dream!! I am VERY excited about finding out the gender of our baby.

Which brings me to this blog entry... We were told that I am high risk and with being high risk, we are able to take a test called Harmony that will tell us everything about our baby's DNA, including the gender... at 10 weeks!!!

10 weeks!? I did not find out the gender with Caleb until 18 weeks! 10 weeks is even better!!! Of course we said "SIGN US UP!"

We have the test scheduled for December 3rd and it takes around 10 business days for all the results to come back... so by December 17th, we should know the gender!!! Casey and I plan on picking up the envelope together so that neither of us know before the other. Then we are going to have a small dinner to reveal the gender to everyone in our family.

Pink or Blue... Boy or Girl... Sister or Brother... Son or Daughter... Cora Mae or Dax Marshall!!!

Which one do we want?

To be VERY honest, I do not care! I am so over the moon that we are pregnant again and that in 7 months we will have our rainbow baby in our arms. If I had to absolutely pick one or the other... I am torn because of what my boys both want.

Caleb wants a sister SO badly. I even mention a boy and he says "NO!!!"

Casey on the other hand, he wants a son. Someone to carry on his last name since he is the last of the Flowers.

We have talked and if it is a girl we will try once more for a boy but if it is a boy, we are done. I want to be done, I don't want to try again so in this area I would rather have a boy. However, I would LOVE to give Caleb a sister and have a daughter to be best friends with.

Honestly either way I am going to be over the moon!!! Cora or Dax, I am so ready to start planning out our life together. Momma LOVES you!!!

Our 1st sonogram

Today we had our 1st sonogram for Baby Flowers 2.0! I woke up 3 hours early with a pounding headache and I couldn't stomach anything to eat. I finally forced down a banana and we were out the door around 9:30am.

The whole drive over there, I sat there talking to my husband and silently praying in my head. God please let there be a baby. God please let there be a heartbeat. God... please!

We arrived, met up with my Momma and Casey's Momma and checked in. We sat there joking around, talking about Halloween, catching up... I sat there silently praying in my head. God please let this be real. God please let me hold this sweet baby in my arms. God... please!

She called our names and we all stood up to follow. Well, she refused to let my Momma and Mother in Law in the room at 1st, which kind of pissed me off. She said it was because if she didn't find anything, she wanted us to have privacy. I told her I wanted my Momma in the room... no, I needed my Momma in the room. After my last miscarriage, I felt so alone and just wanted my Momma. She still said no. I was not too happy with this lady. Heck Casey stood up once during the sonogram (before she turned the monitor to us) and she instantly told him to sit down because she didn't like people watching over her shoulder. Umm yeah, he was standing up to adjust the boys and give his nervous wife a kiss... chill out lady!!

She started the sonogram and said she would not turn the monitor to us unless she found a baby... Unless she found a baby? Really, did you have to put it like that?! Kind of annoyed me! I was highly annoyed at this time so everything she said, annoyed me! I took a deep breath and laid back.

Casey held my hand and I laid there silently begging God for her to be able to turn the monitor to us. I felt like a CD on repeat, playing the same prayer over and over. The same prayer I have been praying since we saw those 2 pink lines on October 14th. Please God... please let there be a baby!!

The sonogram tech said "Okay, go get the Moms... they can come in now." After she said that, I almost lost it crying with tears of joy and had to ask "So, you found a baby?!" We sat there and stared at that sweet little dot for as long as the tech let us, which wasn't too long. We saw the cute little flutter of a heartbeat and was told it was around 77 which is good for right at 6 weeks. The baby is measuring right on time too!

I was so thrilled and over the moon. I started thanking God right then and there!! What a blessing!!!

I have been classified as a high risk pregnancy so I will be closely watched and will have more appointments than normal. Actually I go back in next Friday for another check up. The doctor will do the sonogram herself and hopefully she will let us listen to the heartbeat instead of just seeing it.

Also, being a high risk pregnancy they are going to do a Harmony blood test around 10 weeks to check the DNA of the baby. At that time, they will also be able to tell the gender... through my blood!!! How cool is that?! It does take about 10 days to get the results back so we should know the gender around the 2nd week of December. Oh I am so excited!!!

Introducing the cutest little black and white dot you will ever see..
Cora Mae Flowers ~ OR ~ Dax Marshall Flowers!!!

Pregnancy Update

Most of you know I had some spotting this past Sunday. Coming off a miscarriage a couple months back, seeing the blood really freaked me out. We were out to eat and then going to run some errands. The minute I came out of the bathroom and told Casey what happened, he was ready to take me home and have me lay down.

Later that night I had some more spotting, pink this time and it was gone after a couple wipes. I was nervous but knew pink wasn't as bad as red. Maybe this is just a fluke.

I went to bed that night and just started praying.

I prayed for this baby to latch on and not to let go.
I prayed for the spotting to stop.
I prayed that in 7-8 months I would be able to hold our sweet baby.
I prayed that this baby would take after Casey in so many ways...
Patient
Slow to anger
Kind hearted
Quiet yet outgoing
Thinker
and the list could go on and on...
But I prayed that the baby would take after me in one area...
I prayed this baby would be a FIGHTER!!

I want this baby to fight for its life. Fight for a chance to meet us. Fight to become a baby sister or brother. To just fight to hold on and not let go.

I laid there and prayed and to be honest, I haven't stopped praying over this baby since that moment. I am very anxious for our sonogram on Friday and I pray that we see/hear the heartbeat. The doctor did say if we do not see/hear the heartbeat, she will bring us in the next week and try again. Fingers crossed!!!

The spotting has stopped after turning brown Monday morning. I have been told to take it easy the next couple days, no lifting, no straining, pelvic rest, and to kick back and put my feet up... so that is what I have been doing. It is killing me not to pick up Caleb, but he is being a sport about protecting his sissy... he swears its a girl!

Thank you all for the sweet words and prayers you are send our way! I will keep you updated on the progress and of our appointment.

Thrive & Pregnancy

I have had some people ask me about Thrive since I am now pregnant... well this blog is just for you!

Since I am a high risk pregnancy, coming off a miscarriage in July, I have decided to only take what the doctor tells me to take until after my 1st trimester. Which is my prenatal vitamins and progesterone pill. This means bye-bye Thrive!

Yes, I have done my research and it is safe for pregnant women to take the capsules but it is not recommended using the patch and the shake. This is due to the amount of (natural) caffeine in both of those products.

I have been off Thrive for a week now and boy can I tell a difference. I can feel the aches in my knee again (boo). I am exhausted (which I am also chalking up to the pregnancy). And I have ZERO energy (partly due to the baby too).

I am ready for my 1st trimester to be over so I can start using the capsules again and I look forward to re-starting the drinks and patches again this next summer after the bambino comes!

If you are interested in trying the product, check out  my link... Fitbyjordan.Le-Vel.com

And remember, I am always here if you have questions!!! This product is something I fully back and think the world of... not just for weight loss reasons but just because it makes me feel whole again.

Hey Sugar

Who has a sweet tooth? I do... or did! My one HUGE weakness is sweets. I can pass up breadsticks, chips, appetizers, etc... but if that dessert cart rolls by, well you know where to find me.

I love sweets so much that at our wedding, we served desserts at cocktail hour!

I. LOVE. SUGAR!!!

Let me tell you a little story, but no judging. When I was pregnant this summer (with my miscarriage baby) I craved sugar 24-7. I would wake up at 3am begging Casey to go to the store for me. One night I begged him to stop by and buy me a cake on his way home from working the night shift. He stopped, what an amazing husband, and bought me a sheet cake from Albertsons. I was in heaven. (Also with that pregnancy, I couldn't sleep to save my life.) Well this particular night I was wide eyed and ready for the cake the minute he walked through the door... I had a fork ready and everything!! I sat in my bed and chowed down on the sheet cake. No, I didn't eat it all... but I did make a good dent in it. I was obsessed with sugar that pregnancy!!! I am not proud of the sheet cake incident but it happened and now looking back, it is kind of funny... Haha!

When we found out we were pregnant this time around, Casey made a joke about me and the cake and I started to pray that sugar wouldn't be my "thing" this pregnancy. Well, I got my prayer/wish. For the past 2 weeks, if I eat a bite of sugar I am sick to my stomach within minutes. I had a fun-sized pack of M&M's Saturday and started to feel like I needed to throw up. Sunday I had HALF a donut... HALF... and I was crying in the fetal position not even 5 minutes later. I even threw away a s'more the other night at my nieces birthday party because one bite and my stomach was doing flips. Yall, I freaking LOVE s'mores. This is a BIG deal.

This was RIGHT before I chunked it across the yard. I had to take a picture to make my bestie jealous... it is our thing! Love ya Mandy!!

So, it is safe to say I will be staying away from sugar for the next couple weeks (maybe months). Hopefully this will help with my weight. I know I will gain but hopefully since sugar makes me sick to my stomach, I wont be gaining as quickly! A girl can hope!

With Caleb, my 5 year old, I craved meat platters. You know like the ones you take to a party? I was in love with all kinds of meat and could not get enough protein!This time around, I am not really craving anything so far... but it is safe to say sugar is NOT on the list!

Bring on the veggies & fruit!!!

Baby Flowers 2.0

Yep, we are pregnant again and I am freaking THRILLED!!!! I am going to use my blog as kind of a journal throughout this journey, but it won't all be about baby stuff. I am also going to be talking about my fitness, my food, my energy, and my life outside of being an expectant mother...

But, right now... it is all about baby!!!

Sunday and Monday I had a horrible melt down. Seriously I couldn't stop crying. I cried during church. I cried at the Cowboys cookout. I cried when we got home. I cried at work. I cried in the car. I just couldn't stop crying. Most of my cries went something like this... I want a baby, why cant we have a baby, why did we have to have a miscarriage, why did I gain my weight back, why wont it just fall off, I WANT A BABY!!!

Looking back, it was kind of funny. Poor Casey, everything was his fault and he couldn't do anything right. Man I love my husband!

Tuesday I took a pregnancy test and I swore I could see a line starting to appear. I sent it out to my line judges, aka some of my girlfriends, to tell me if I am crazy or not. They said they saw it too! I woke Casey up by jumping on the bed with excitement. He couldn't see it, but he played along anyways. Like I said, I love my husband!!!

I decided that over lunch (when Casey was with me) to take another test. The line was darker this time!! It was finally* happening again. I was so excited. I started crying again and Casey had a look on his face like "oh gosh, here we go again." But it was happy tears this time!!! (I say finally because to me, it felt like a million years since I had my miscarriage and I just wanted to be pregnant again)

We both decided that we were going to share the GREAT news with friends and family now instead of waiting for 12 weeks. I understand why people wait, I do... but I am not one of those people. I live my life as an open book and I love to be surrounded by people who love us and will pray for us. With this being a pregnancy after a miscarriage, I felt the need to share it early so that people could send us love, well wishes and tons of prayers. I think we might need them just to conquer the fear (which I will talk about another day).

Yesterday I went to the doctor and she confirmed everything for me! We are in fact 4 weeks pregnant and due June 26th. She is going to watch my HCG levels the next couple weeks and make sure they are going up like they are supposed to be. I will have my 1st set of numbers back today and then will go in on Monday to have my blood drawn again. The line on the pregnancy test gets darker each time I take a new one, so it is looking good on my end (yes, I am a pee stick addict).

To do:
Workout - cardio only
Get back on track with eating clean
Stop Thrive (will talk about another day)
Start yoga at least once a week
Focus only on the good and not on the what ifs

Y'all, I am SO excited!!!! I promise I wont be too annoying throughout this journey but if you do find me annoying, I am sorry I am just so thrilled to be having a baby with my husband and giving my son a sibling!!! This is an EXCITING time!!!! Eek!!!

Thrive & Diet Coke

I have been so busy with life this week and I forgot to blog... but today is Thursday and it is my Thrive update day, so I figured I would make time for those of you who do read my blog.

Don't worry, busy doesn't mean I have fallen off the wagon. In fact I am doing really well with being able to pass up sweets and getting some gym time in (not as much as I would like to, but some is better than none). It helps that my hubby is finally losing some weight too. When he is on board, life is easier!!

You are probably wondering why I decided to talk about Thrive and diet coke... well if you know me at all, you know I am addicted to diet coke. It is my one thing that I have always sworn to never ever ever give up. I have given up so much to lose weight, I didn't want to give up diet coke too. I know the effects it can have on your body. I know how bad it is for you. I know all of these things already. I am not perfect. Trust me a diet coke is WAY better than eating a sheet cake every day... right?! Well in my eyes it is.

Back to Thrive and why it relates to diet coke. You see, Thrive has a bunch of natural caffeine inside of it and with it being natural, it is way better for you and your body. Diet coke is where I usually get my caffeine, until I started using Thrive. I have been using this product for 2 weeks now and since starting it, I have noticed my body rejecting the taste of diet coke and now here I am and I cant tell you the last time I have actually drank a full glass/can/Sonic drink...

At 1st, diet coke started to taste weird and I thought it was from my ear infection. I kept drinking it from different places, hoping the taste would change back. Then I started to realize that I was not even craving it at all. Now when someone ask me if I want a diet coke, I do not have any want in my body for one. What has changed in the past 2 weeks? I started using Thrive!!!

I have to admit, since I have stopped drinking diet coke I do feel better. I am now drinking more water (I was already drinking enough, but now I am drinking over that amount). I have energy and don't feel blah like I would after the "highs" of my diet coke would wear off. This Thrive is the real deal. Seriously, if it can help me quit diet coke... wow!!! That speaks volumes right there!!!

Also, I mentioned last week about how my knee has not been aching much anymore? Well last weekend it rained... I mean it POURED!!! Usually when it storms really bad like that, my knee is stiff, achey, in pain, etc. This time... nothing!!! I was even able to walk around Six Flags for 6 hours without complaining once. My husband even mentioned "Hey, you haven't complained about your knee in a while, are you okay?"

Thrive has changed my life!! If you would like to check it out, here is my link... Fitbyjordan.Le-Vel.com

I am not here to sell it to you, I am not here to make money.... I am here to give you my experience and let you know what works for me. I would never promote something that I didn't 1st try and make sure it works for me!

Hope you all have a healthy day!!!

Thrive update

When I decided to buy Thrive, my trainer told me to give it a good week to 2 weeks before making a judgment if it was good or bad. That is exactly what I decided to do... and I wanted to be the guinea pig for all of you. Here is my update after 1 week.

I wont lie, the 1st couple days I was not a fan... I was exhausted and was wanting to eat everything (mainly out of boredom). The only thing I found helpful, was the shake. That drink is magic and makes you pooh. Well, it does for me and that is HUGE since I have horrible problems in that area. I am now going regularly and I don't feel as bloated.  Or as my husband says, I am no longer full of crap!

After a couple days, I started to realize that I had more energy. I am starting to feel like my old self again. I have made it to the gym every lunch break and I come back to work feeling good instead of wanting to go to bed. That is a huge change!

I have also noticed that my knee has not been hurting me. If you have followed me this past year, you know I have horrible problems with my right knee. I have had 2 major surgeries and even had to re-learn how to walk back in 2012 after my last surgery. I need it replaced! It usually aches SO bad after a leg workout, after a cardio workout, after my period, after it rains, after almost anything... In the past couple days all of those things happened and my knee was not achey at all!!! I am not saying Thrive will replace my knee replacement, but it might buy me some more time with the knee I have now!!!

The past couple of days I realized Thrive has also helped me not want to eat everything in sight. I have to remind myself to eat every couple hours where as before I was eating just to not be bored. I guess now that I have more energy I am busy living life and not worrying about just sitting on the couch eating!!!

Anyways, so far I give Thrive a 7 out of 10. It is helping in many areas of my life, mainly with my depression and being able to feel live again. I am going to continue to blog about my experience and I am always here if you have any questions.

If you want to try it yourself, check it out at this link... Fitbyjordan.Le-Vel.com

I am not here to sell it or make a business out of this... I am here to help you through my journey! If I find something that works for me, why not share the good news with you guys. Even if I help just 1 person, it was all worth something!!!

I am a LOSER!

Yep, I am a loser... but in a good way! This past week, I lost 6 pounds... SIX!!! I am so proud of myself for sticking to my plan of staying in the gym. My eating was rocky this weekend but I am not going to let that defeat me. I messed up and now I am moving on.

I have my gym bag packed and ready to go. Actually I almost left home without it, but I stopped myself and went back for it. That was a proud moment for me!

This weekend my lovely husband said "I can tell you have lost weight, not by inches or by how your clothes are fitting you, but by the way you are carrying yourself." It was a really nice compliment. For the past couple months I have been carrying myself feeling defeated and broken. I have been slouching down and hiding in a wide. This past week, I have been standing up taller and wearing my smile in a more genuine way. I hadn't really thought about it, until he pointed it out. Man, I love that guy!

I am ready for the gym and ready to tackle today. Like I said before I am not focusing on a goal number or what the scale says really, but it was AWESOME to see a 6 pound loss... My goals this week are to do better than last week. Stay in the gym and keep my eating on track, even on the weekend.

If you are wondering how Thrive is going, I will be blogging about that later this week...

Hope you all had a WONDERFUL weekend and I pray your Monday is smooth sailing!

Why I want to Thrive!

 

You are probably thinking, oh great here is another annoying person who is going to sell me something... well, don't worry your pretty little head, I am not here to sell you anything!! I just want to share my WHY to why I decided to buy Thrive.

My trainer, Lo, has always been very anti "magic" pills and shakes. I have always asked her what she thinks before I buy almost anything. The only thing she has really said "yeah that is good but you still need to workout and eat right" has been Shakeology. Until now...

A couple months ago, she started Thrive and told me about it. I was kind of shocked because she never "promotes" anything except working out and eating healthy. I was in a bad place at the time so to be honest, everything she said went in one ear and out the other. Since that conversation, I have seen many other people jump on this bandwagon and I just rolled my eyes each time. I was in a BAD place of depression and not caring... B-A-D!!

Remember my come to Jesus meeting I had with myself on the way back from Disney World (I blogged about it 2 days ago)... well, Thrive popped up in my newsfeed and I decided to listen to what Lo had to say. I read her story, her sisters, her brother in laws, and her husband's. I decided what the heck, I will give it a shot.

I read a lot online and soon learned that this is an all natural product and really helps with depression, your energy levels, your bowels, and so much more. Yes, it does aid weight loss too.

I want you all to know, I am NOT doing Thrive for weight loss. I am doing Thrive because I have been very depressed with zero energy. I am sick of feeling this way. I am sick of wanting to nap instead of playing with my son. I am sick of having an Eyeore personality in place of my happy go lucky personality I usually have. I am just sick of being "sick"!!! Plus, to hear it helps with bowels, that is a HUGE plus since I have a major problem in that area and my medication just went up to $75 a month and it is NOT safe to take while pregnant... and I want to be pregnant!!

The doctor told me I needed to get back in the gym and get back on track so I can be healthy to try for a baby again... Thrive is going to help me do that!

Today is my 1st day on Thrive. I woke up, took my capsules, took a shower, put on the patch, waited about 30 minutes and drank my shake (which I will drink every other day for breakfast). I know it will take a couple days to start feeling an impact from this product, but it only took about 30-45 minutes for my bowels to feel the impact (Haha, TMI sorry).

I am going to continue to blog about my experience and let you guys know how it is. If you have been interested in it and want to wait to buy the product until you know someone who has actually used it and can be real and honest with you, well here is your chance. I will tell you the good, the bad and the ugly about my experience with Thrive. If you know anything about me, you know that I am real and speak the truth about my journey... So, if you have any questions just ask!!

If you want to go ahead and start Thrive and do this journey with me, click this link and order yours today... Fitbyjordan.Le-Vel.com
*Make sure you get the package that has the DFTs (the patches).

I am excited to finally be excited again. It has been a long time since I have had this feeling and its a GREAT feeling!!!

My meal plan this week

To help hold me accountable, I have decided to post my meal plan for this week. I am currently on day 3 of being back on track and I have to admit, I am feeling good. I am not as bloated and I even have been sleeping better. I was having problems there for awhile. I think it was because I was just vegging out 24/7 and since I was never active, I couldn't shut my brain off and it messed with my sleeping.

Anyways... here is what I am eating every 3 hours this week.

Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of 9 grain toast

Morning Snack - 1 cup of quick oats with 5 packets of sweet-n-low and 5 strawberries cut up AND 1 tbsp of peanut butter

Lunch - 6 ounces of grilled chicken with 1/2 cup of fajita mixture (green bell peppers, onions and black beans) AND 1 cup of sweet potatoes with 1 tbsp. of brown sugar and 1/2 tbsp. of cinnamon

Afternoon Snack - 15-20 baby carrots with 2 tbsp of Ranch Dressing AND a tbsp of peanut butter

Dinner - 2 servings of Jamie Eason's Turkey Meatloaf Muffins (I made mine in an oversized cupcake muffin tin and so 2 muffins fit in one) AND a salad that consist of spinach leafs, celery, cucumbers, onions and cherry tomatoes with balsamic vinaigrette for the dressing.

It is not 110% perfect and it is not 110% clean eating, but it is what is working for me this week and it beats me going out to eat every single meal like I have been doing.

Casey and I are having a date day on Saturday and we are going to use some gift cards a friend blessed us with. Thanks sweet SammyJoJack!!! We will be going out to lunch and then watching a movie. I will be looking online at the restaurants menu before we arrive so I can make a healthy cheat choice.

Saturday I will also create a new meal plan for next week and Casey and I will go shopping Sunday after church and then meal prep that evening. If you have a meal that is easy and healthy, please feel free to share it with the group!!

Always remember, this journey we are all on is about progress, not perfection!!!

Oh and P.S. seriously, thank you so much for the kind words yesterday in regards to my last blog. I cried happy tears reading each comment and the guilt has started to fade away. All of your comments really helped light a fire under me and makes me want to strive to do better. I am excited to be back!!!

The truth – I have been hiding

You all know I had a miscarriage. You all know I have dealt with depression before. If you put the 2 together, you might have figured out that after my miscarriage, I became very depressed. It was hard to get out of bed in the morning and it was hard to fall asleep at night. I did not want to do anything while I was at work and I sat on my couch glued to my tv once I returned home. The only time I was up and moving around was when I was getting something to eat, which was all the time. I did not feel like cooking and so we ate out almost every single meal.

My clothes were already not fitting well from my pregnancy and the eating all the time was not helping matters. It even got to the point I had to ask my best friend for my “fat” jeans back. Having to ask, really took a lot out of my pride… but I had to do it because every time I was in the fitting rooms trying to find more clothes, I would break down and cry. I cried because clothes didn’t fit. I cried because I had hit my goal weight and I let it go. I cried because I lost my baby and I just wanted him/her back. I cried because we have been trying  for another one and it hasn’t happened yet. I cried.

 

I have been ashamed of letting myself go and not really caring. I have been MIA on the page because I have had thoughts like “who would want to follow someone like me, someone who has gained a lot of my weight back, I am a fraud, I am a failure… etc.” I know all of that is not true and that this is life… no one is perfect! This is my journey and I am real. I have ups and I have downs. Sometimes my downs suck a lot and sometimes my ups are really good… but I am never perfect!

August I decided would be my month to get back on the wagon. I signed up and paid for morning boot camps again. I bought the 21 day fix from Beachbody. I wrote out a whole meal plan for the entire month of August. I was ready to tackle the month. Then… I just didn’t. The mornings were still rough and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. The 21 day fix was awesome for food portions but the workouts are at home workouts and when I would get home I would just veg on the couch with no motivation and no mirrors. The meal plan I wrote out, after the 1^st week I stopped because I felt overwhelmed having to keep my with my meals and my husbands meals. I wasn’t ready physically or emotionally in August. Call it an excuse, call it whatever you like… but all I am saying is, I wasn’t ready.

September was going to be a hectic month with something planned each weekend, starting with my best friends baby shower. She doesn’t know this yet, but that week of her shower I had a mental breakdown at work bawling my eyes out and I had to leave. How was I supposed to throw her a shower when I was still so broken about losing my own baby? I prayed a LOT about this and God calmed me down and gave me the strength to bless her. Which in return, her family blessed me. At the end of her shower, they all laid hands on me and prayed over my womb and for God to bless us with another baby. Since that day, I have not felt that depression in my heart. It was like a huge rock was lifted from my shoulders. The month went on and we celebrated Caleb’s birthday with a party and then a trip to Disney World! I had the time of my life, other than getting sick, and was able to do things I would have missed out on if I was pregnant.

On the drive back from Florida, I was praying and realized that I need to stop focusing on everyone else and everything else around me and to start focusing on myself again. Sometimes you have to do what is best for your and your life, not what is best for everybody else. I talked to Casey and told him that I was going to start meal prepping again, but this time I am doing it just for myself and that he would need to start cooking food for his lunches and dinners. I text a couple of my girlfriends and told them that I would no longer be going to lunch with them during the work week, that I am going to get back into the gym instead. I also had a little talk with Caleb and told him that a couple nights a week he will be going to the gym daycare to play while I work out (if I miss during work for a work related function) and we would be going back on the weekends too.

While I was at Disney, I became really sick and I finally went to the doctor yesterday. It was a ear infection, ugh! She talked to me about my weight and I told her what has been happening since she last saw me. She said she understands but that I need to get back on the right track so that my fertility will go back to normal. She said when people have quick weight gains like I have had the past few months, that it can mess with ovulation and fertility. She suggested that I start focusing on eating right and my fitness again instead of being obsessed about becoming pregnant again.

So, here I am… I meal prepped Sunday night and stayed on my eating plan all day yesterday and I took my start pictures yesterday morning. I did not make it to the gym yesterday due to my doctor’s appointment so today I am going to do 2 a days.

I am not perfect. I struggle with maintaining weight. I have to re-start again. BUT… I know I can do it again. I know that I have what it takes. I know that if I stay focused on myself and my own personal goals, I can achieve anything.

I am not going to make a goal for my weight. I am not going to make a goal for a certain size in jeans. All I am going to do is make a goal of completing my workouts daily, eating only on my meal plan I have prepped (no eating out, except for date night on Saturday), and making time for myself everyday no matter what is going on.

 

I am sorry for being MIA the past couple weeks/months. I do appreciate all the support and love you have each given me. I am back!!!
 

And the winner is...

Well, I am stuck trying to pick a winner and I need your help!!!

I have narrowed it down to 7 people!!! These 7 people have touched my heart and their stories really spoke to me. I wish I could afford to give them each a 21 day fix, but I cant. SORRY!!!

Read their stories below, comment on my blog or on my Facebook post (pinned to the top of my page www.fitbyjordan.blogspot.com) and tell me who you think should win!!! The person with the most votes by tomorrow at 5:29 pm (Texas time... my time of birth lol) will be the winner!!!

As for the other 6 entries... you wont walk away empty handed. I have a special little something something for you!!!

The entries -

Megan Gallagher Honestly, I have a hard time trying to express since you posted the challenge on why I should win or am more deserving than others. That is something I do always put others needs/wants/wished before me, but I feel we are all deserving too. That being said- I would beyond grateful to be chosen to simply put-LOVE myself again and be happy. Battling auto-immune issues, chronic anxiety and depression I just want to LOVE myself wholly again. I know full well how this carries over with my family- 18 month old daughter and hubby as well and work and friends. I lost over 100lbs myself, got prego gained a lot of weight back and I am having a hard time losing the weight the 2nd time around. Losing in your 30s post pregnancy is way different than your 20s. I know I can do it and I BELIEVE in this program and BeachBody and I want to BELIEVE in myself again and find my self worth and happiness again. xoxo HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIT by Jordan

Michael Marie ZachJacob I want to start this program because 3 years ago I tore my acl in my knee and had to have surgery I gained a lot of weight from that injury and I was motivated to lose it once I got the ok to exercise . Then I got prego right when I got the on and I went up to almost 200 lbs. after baby I got kidney stones and post partum hypothyroidism and I Couldn't lose weight no matter how hard I tried well fast forward a year and a half and I'm finally healthy and I want to get back to a healthy weight!

Mayra Salas I would loooove to win this and try the 21 day fix program. I am at a point in my life where I need to do something for myself. I am a proud mommy of a 3 year old girl who I adore, sadly from that pregnancy I kept 20 lbs which I could never get rid of. I had a miscarriage last year  it was the saddest and darkest moments I have endured in my life. My body kept thinking it was pregnant and I put on weight and even more weight after experiencing symptoms of depression and ofcourse looking for confort in food. I am ready to move past all this and loose weight, be healthy and get the strength to try and conceive another baby. Thank you for the opportunity to participate.

Lindsey Dickson Bowen I'm tired of yoyoing with my diet and losing motivation. A couple months ago I had an early miscarriage and ever since I can't seem to get back on track. I want to get back into eating healthy and working out so that when I get pregnant again I can have the healthiest pregnancy I've ever had!

Denise Prody White I will be come a grandma for the 1st time in March of 2015. I have lost weight before an have gained it back. I want to be healthy for when my grandchild arrives to be able to keep up with him or her. I have health issues that make it hard for me to exercise while being over weight. I need to learn to eat better an especially watch the portion sizes that I eat. I have heard nothin but great results from this program. So hoping that you pick me so I can become a healthy active grandma in 2015.

Sarah Bauer I want to change my life for my two daughters, they're at the ages that they want to be going places and having fun outdoors and out in public...with ME! I know at their ages of 7 & 9 this won't last forever, they'll get to the point where they won't want to be seen in public with me! But here's the thing...I've gained about 80lbs in the past 2 years, I'm at my heaviest currently and it stinks being seen out in public, not to mention being on my feet for too long causing my feet and legs to swell from the weight. I hate to admit this but it's gotten to the point that I talk my kids out of wanting to go do things like going amusement parks, swimming, or playing at the park, just so that I don't have to be seen out in public, or I don't have to be uncomfortable...I've realized my weight isn't only holding me back it's hold them back, and hurts to know that I'm making them miss out on being kids! That's why I want to change my life, yes it would benefit me but I feel like it would truly benefit my daughters more!

Casey Smith I have really been wanting to try the 21 day fix! Finances are tight right now because I'm getting married in March! I want to lose 30 pounds before I get married so that I can start that new chapter of my life as healthy as I can be for me and for my future family. Jordan I watched as you went through your transformation prior to your wedding and you are my inspiration in every way! I hope and pray I can stay as dedicated as you have been! Please help me as I prepare to be the best and healthiest wife/mother I can be!

I hate my knee

Seriously, I hate my knee! It is one of the parts of my body I would change if I had a magic genie!!

I was born with a bad knee, cheered on a bad knee, had surgery on my bad knee, gained weight on a bad knee, ran on a bad knee, had another surgery on my bad knee, gained weight again on my bad knee, lifted weights on my bad knee, and have gained some weight again on my bad knee...

Lets just say, my knee has been through a lot.

The last surgery I had was a reconstructive surgery. The doctor told me the next surgery for me is a replacement!!! I have always thought a replacement was for someone old enough to retire... but here I am hearing the word "replacement" and I am not even 30 years old yet!

Right now in my life I am not ready for a replacement. If I had a replacement right now, I would have to push back getting pregnant by at least 6 months and that is not something I am wanting to do right now. We are ready for a baby now so we are going to put off the replacement until after we deliver... hopefully sooner than later!

It has been 2 + years since my last surgery and my knee has been doing great. It aches from time to time but it isn't anything to worry about. Well, that all changed last Tuesday. I was walking to check my mail (on a hill of a drive way, wearing a long maxi skirt and some flip flops while talking on the phone) and I fell. My knee popped and I ended up scraping it pretty bad. Thank goodness for my neighbors being outside because they were able to help carry me in the house!

It was pretty swollen and the scrape was not pretty. It has taken almost a week for me to start walking normal again... now just waiting for the scrape to heal so I can have more flexibility in my knee. Every time I bend my knee the scrape seems to pop open and it hurts. That's not even the gross part... the gross part is (stop reading if you get grossed out easily) last night I took an Epsom salt bath and let my knee soak. After the bath, I was sitting on the couch and my scrape started to ooze! Seriously it was so gross but after the oozing, it felt so much better!!! I am ready for another Epsom salt bath.

My knee injury hasn't helped my depression I have been trying to fight off since the miscarriage. I am an emotional eater and I am really trying to not be anymore. Easier said than done! I have been trying to focus on 21 Day Fix but it has been hard this past week with my knee being jacked up.

I am going to the gym today on my lunch and just going to ride the bike for 30-45 minutes. Nothing intense but I figure something is better than nothing. I know I am no where near where I want to be in my weight loss journey right now BUT I am still here kicking and fighting... that counts for something! This summer has been one of the hardest times in my life and for me to be fighting to go forward instead of falling into depression, that is a HUGE thing!!!

Here is to NOT giving up, not matter what!!!

To the person who HATES Facebook

Yep, can you believe it there are actually people who HATE Facebook?! I have had enough and I am here to defend it and the amount of post I make...

1. If you hate Facebook so much, here is an idea... delete your dang profile!!! Easy as pie.

2. Facebook is a GREAT way to meet new people and start new friendships. Heck, one of my BEST friends lives in Utah and we would have never met if it wasn't for a site just like Facebook 7 years ago. Wow Jamie, we have been friends for 7 years!!!

3. If you are annoyed about how much I post and you are a friend of mine, you can delete me or hide my profile. I promise it will not hurt my feelings.

4. If you are annoyed about how much I post and you are NOT a friend of mine, stop snooping and get off my dang page Gina!

5. Hey #4 people, I will post as much as I want to post... I live my life as an open book because I am using my experiences to help minister in the life's of other people. I have struggles and I feel that if God can change one persons heart through my experience, why not let Him? If you don't like it, I really don't care because I know I am pleasing God.

6. Hey #4 again, guess what... It is just life, ain't nobody getting out alive!!!

7. Like I said, I am an open book... about 90% of my life. There is that 10% of intimate things that I keep to myself and my husband, like God intended.

8. Caleb is a freaking cute kid and I don't want to deprive the world (my family who doesn't live close or see him on a regular bases) of his cute cute cute face... So yep, I will continue to post pictures of him and post the funny things he says!

9. If you are a Facebook hater in anyway, get a life... seriously, there are more important things to worry about than how many times I post about whatever it is I am posting about.

And last but certainly not least...

10. Have you NEVER bought or sold anything from a Community Page?! Like seriously, it is the best bargains out there and I love a good bargain!!! 

Facebook lovers, go on and keep posting away... Facebook haters, keep on hating because we all know that is what you will keep doing no matter what we/I say!

Rock, meet hard place

I am currently sitting on a plane flying to Pittsburgh for business and I can't stop thinking about a conversation Casey and I had on the way to the airport. This morning started very early for me and a lot of decisions were put on the table for discussion in a matter of hours... Know I have 4 days of Jordan time before going home to my husband to give him my decision! 

Casey is an amazing husband, so supportive and almost always goes along with all my plans. There are times he stands his ground and my plans change, but more times then not he goes along with what I decide. I think this happens for 2 reasons. 

1. Casey is a fly by the seat kind of person. He hardly ever makes any plans and he is okay with that. He is so easy going and will wake up and just do. Well, I am the exact opposite. They say opposites attract and for us it is true. I am very much a type A personality. I like to plan. Ok that's a lie... I LOVE to plan! I plan everything and anything and I do it weeks/months/years in advance! 

2. Casey loves me and wants to give me the world... He does that in going along with my plan. He has told me before that when he does something I like to do that he doesn't, he finds joy in it just by seeing me smile. Hello true love!! 

Back to this morning and the decisions... Of course there was what to eat for breakfast, which vehicle to drive, which highway to take, etc. But on the way to drop me off at the airport a very important topic came up and we needed to make a decision because it is one that would affect our family. 

After our miscarriage Casey and I both decided we wanted a baby ASAP! The doctor told me after my 1st cycle we could get pregnant again, this was GREAT news to both of us! She told us that my cycle wouldn't come until the end of August or early September. That would mean that we would probably get pregnant in Disney World and I would be able to enjoy myself and ride all the rides with my birthday boy Caleb. 

It was a perfect plan! We wanted a baby ASAP and the timing with Disney was awesome.

Well, that is until my cycle decided to start this past weekend. With it starting we were left with a decision to make. We could try this month and if we were successful we would be about 8 weeks pregnant at Disney. OR we could wait another cycle and get pregnant late September like the doctor first initially thought would happen. 

Why did my cycle start a month earlier then expected? My only answer is God has other plans then my doctor did! And now we are faced with a decision to try or not to try this month...

I know most of you would just say, well wait then, what's the big deal? 

The big deal is that for the past month, Casey and I have been praying for a baby. Like praying so hard... Remember when you were a kid and you prayed, wished and begged for that new toy? That's the kind of praying we have been doing for a baby. Now that we have lost one, we both want one more than ever! And now we have been given this wonderful miracle of me starting my cycle a month earlier then the doctor said... Was this a gift from God? Or is this a test God is giving us? 

Casey left the decision to me... To try this month or wait until September and honestly this is a very hard decision for me. I want a baby so badly, but I also want to enjoy Disney... But I was already planning on being pregnant in Disney before I had the miscarriage... 

Rock, meet hard place! 

My final decision... I don't know! I want to leave it in God's hands. Only He knows when we will receive a blessing and only he knows what the future holds. Me being a planner, this is way easier said than done! 

So, I am curious... What would you do? 

21 Day Fix - Day 3

As you know, Casey and I started the 21 day fix over the weekend. I am using it more as a help to restart my weight loss instead of focusing solely on 21 days...

We ate on plan this past weekend and used the little containers for every meal we ate. I felt like we were constantly eating and our plates were always full... that is what happens when you are eating the right foods, you can eat more! Below is a sample of what our menu looked like yesterday.

Breakfast - 2 eggs, 1 whole grain waffle, 1 piece of fruit
Snack - Grapes
Lunch - Salad with spinach leafs, cherry tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, almonds, chicken and dressing with a piece of whole wheat bread
Snack - Grapes & Chicken
Dinner - 2 eggs omelet with spinach leafs, cheery tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, avocado and a whole grain waffle
Bedtime - 2 TBSP Almond Butter

To be honest, we have not done the workouts yet. On Friday, I started my 1st period after my miscarriage and I was in some pain this weekend and did not feel like working out. I have my workout planned for tonight though.

Bump in the road - tomorrow I leave for West Virginia for business and will not return until late Friday afternoon. My meals are going to be off track BUT I am going to take the DVDs and my laptop and do the workouts in my hotel room. While I am gone, I am leaving prepared foods for Casey in the fridge so that he isn't eating out the whole time. He wont have the DVDs but he gets a great workout in with his job as a security guard riding a bike around downtown Fort Worth.

Good news - I weighed on Friday and I weighed again this morning... I am down 2 pounds already! It is 80% eating and 20% working out. I am excited to see what the scale (and my clothes) say when I put both the workouts and the meal plan together.

I plan to post my before and after photos on my 29th birthday (August 22nd).. but I plan to continue the 21 day fix way past that day. It is just such a great program (and I haven't even done the workouts out). I just love the little containers that come with the program, they are worth every penny and I wish I could have a second set. They really help in meal prep!!

July is FINALLY over

July was one of the LONGEST months of my entire life... seriously!

And now, I am SO very thankful that it is FINALLY O-V-E-R!!!!

For the past couple days I have been telling Casey that "come August 1st, I am going to have a fresh start." Then a girlfriend on IG used the hashtag #freshstartfriday... I love it!

Today is my fresh start Friday. My fresh start month. My fresh start... period!!!

Not just with my weight loss, but with everything in my life. I have struggled majorly bad with my weight the past couple months due to my pregnancy and now with my miscarriage. I am waiting for my body to get back on track and I am starting to feel like myself again. My cravings for sweets are all gone and I am able to eat chicken and veggies again without wanting to throw up.

Casey and I bought the 21 day fix and it was delivered today... what a coincidence! We are both very excited to both get back on track and start eating healthier again. I have never been an at home workout kind of person but I think until I am comfortable with my body again, at home workouts are going to be perfect for me. I feel so embarrassed when I go to the gym now, my clothes that were baggy and falling off are now tight and uncomfortable. I will get back to where I was, just will take time. I am looking forward to the 21 day fix... have you ever done the program?

I have been dealing some with depression the past couple weeks, which is very common after a miscarriage. I have taken steps and have been talking with people. I have dealt with depression before and I do not want to struggle with that again. I am a stronger person this time around and I will not let it consume me.  If you deal with depression, I encourage you to seek help. If you can't afford help, turn to your church. Many Pastor's will talk to you free of charge and can even point you in the perfect direction for you. That is where I started this time around...

Oh a good note, my miscarriage appointments are over and my body no longer thinks that it is pregnant (my HCG levels are back down to 0). The doctor said everything looks great and that after my body decides to have a cycle (could be another 4-6 weeks) that we could start trying to have another baby then. That would mean the earliest we would know if we are pregnant again would probably be October. Casey and I both decided (for now) to delete all the tracking apps from my phone and to just let God be in control. We both want a baby and we know God will bless us in his time.

Thank you all for your love and support, it means the world to me!! I can't wait to start the 21 day fix and show you all my results!  I am taking my "before" photos and measurements tonight and starting the program tomorrow... that means that I will finish the last day of the 21 days on my 29th birthday (August 22nd)... Here is to giving it hell and losing that 10 pounds I wanted to lose before my birthday.

August is my fresh start!!!